We have been emailing a bit today about what to do tonight, and she is being very cold towards me.
This is to be expected. She is looking for a reason to fight. She is apprehensive about tonight and may not truly be on the up & up about her contact/attachment with OM. I also believe that she is still on the fence about truly being ready to try. That is why I suggested going dark again. I hope I'm wrong, but her actions say she is just making sure you are still an open option and she will do what she has to so that you remain an option. Its easy to say the words but its a lot harder to live the actions if your not really feeling it. Shes playing games with your emotions and thats not something you do to someone if you are ready to try and make a committment to them and your M.
If you do go tonight I would avoid R talk like the plague. If she brings it up, change the subject or tell her that you just want to have a good time. Keep the "I don't know" going. Let her do some guessing. She suspects that she has you back where she wants you and that is why she is treating you cold today. Don't pursue, don't play the game.
It took my H a long time, even after he was done w/OW to truly come around to a place where he was ready to work on our M and be 100% here. There is no working on anything as long as there is ANY attachment to OP. Even if she isn't talking to OM, just grieving that loss, she isn't able to be 100% with/for you.
Its going to be hard and if you don't think you can keep your cool tonight, don't go. If you really think you can go and keep it strictly fun & light then have a good time. JMO...
M:39 H:39 K:S14;D8 T:22yr M:15yrs S:12/28/07 EA/PA 3/14/08 OW preg 11/17/08 born 12/12/08 his ~~~~~~~ Never allow someone to be your priority while allowing yourself to be their option
