"why are they so tuff? pretty straight forward, no?"
Well as far as you loosing it.. it would be difficult for us to give you a truly accurate answer to that question. Based on your responses.. there is a high probability that you are.. but because we don't really know you.. this may just be a normal reaction from you.
As far as getting back at him, I don't think you really can. If you go after him with your claws out.. he will just move further away. Which sets into motion the cycle. You claw.. he moves. By doing that you move away from your goal. Well at least the goal I think you have. Now you could DB the situation.. get back together and then walk out on him at some point down the road. But again.. that seems somewhat counter productive. You could go dark.. L up.. stop going to the club and see what he does. You could hire someone to go and make him cheat so you can get pictures. But again.. this seems like a lot of wasted energy to me. Me.. I want someone who wants to be with me by choice. Not because I did something fantastic and captured their interest for a while. Not because I forced them into having to love me. So.. how can you back at him? If you really think about that question.. there is an answer.
"yes, i can see this. when i talk about it, it's reliving it."
But.. this is what you fight every day. You wake up reliving this. I know.. I did it too. There will come a time when you can relive and talk more about it. Hence my rule.. that Greek broke.. and made you act all crazy.
"i guess i tried to ignore the post but didn't want to be rude."
You could have just said.. I can't talk about it cause Forrest said so. Then I am the rude one.
Here is a perspective that you missed.
Greek posted to you on your thread. To me.. that opened the door to Q & A time. She was the "other side". You can only imagine the hard time I might have given her if I was in your shoes. Logic would state that if me and you share something in common.. there is a pretty good chance that your H and Greek share something in common. She may have stopped posting.. she may have gotten angry with you. She may have fired back. Now you will never know.
"isn't this a great way to start the weekend off?"
Well.. yes and no. Until you say I give.. and I test you.. and you get mad at me.. and I keep pushing.. don't worry about it. You don't know.. at this point.. that is not a bad thing. I am gonna leave it at that.
"define "cut off date"? when we are closer to the end of my 30 day trial period?"
The 30 day trial is separate from the cut off date.
The cut off date will be determined by your "paperwork".
I get 30 days.. without you breaking the rules.. so do we reset it now?
Kidding.
"remember i also said that "my h taught me how to live". yes, i tend to seek out those who i can learn from. i don't respond well to those who tell me what to do or give me their opinions. but i will be drawn to those who challenge me to think."
I did not forget what you said about H. I am a M.. but my brain is not as small as you think.
I am here.. to challenge you to think.
Things got fuzzy there.. your were talking about your H. I could not read it. It came out as "poop.. poop.. poop" on my screen. I wiped the screen off.. trying to get the poop off.. and all I got was "%#@$%#^%^&$#@^()^*^^%$%$#@!". So.. I will just pick up where I could read from.
"i consider myself a pretty low maintenance wife. but not to the point where my h can totally ignore me."
OK.. so when you were "speaking up" about this.. could he hear you? No one likes to be ignored. No one likes to feel 2nd best.
No one likes to be "called out" on their failings either.
"the problem is my anger. i need to be a bit more compassionate. see things from his perspective - the emotional lead."
See.. now you are catching on.
Compassion.. soothes anger.
If you ignore anger.. what does it do?
Why does it take an equal and opposite "action" to overcome?
"Anger" is the act of lifting the ball. We could define letting the ball go as the words "I am out!".
How do we define the balls in between?
What do we have to do to stop the "reaction"?
Poop on my screen again.. something about a dent in a car...
"he didn't want to look like an idiot."
Or.. he knew you could stand the "looking like an idiot"?
He does not have the back bone you have. That is why standing up straight.. and smiling.. would open a door.
"why do i feel like i failed at this task?"
Because you did not trust your gut.
"i wasn't prepared for greek's bluntness. i didn't respond the way i should have. i allowed it to affect me. provoke me, if you will."
It was something unexpected. Look.. Coach.. takes this stuff "home" with him. At the very least.. Greek read it and knew you were doing things wrong. From what I read.. I can agree with Greek somewhat. You don't want the marriage that you had. You want it to be better. You want to be smarter about the way you react. You want "someone" to choose you. You need to make a choice to change the situation you are in. You have to understand that there is a time and a place to "voice" your objections. You have to understand.. that people posting here.. want you to succeed... most likely more than you.
"it's about how i talk to myself .. about myself."
Who are you?
In the limited confines of DB.com.. how can you show us who you are?
How does this apply to real life?
"i have so much work to do. it is a walk. not a sprint."
Walk with me. If you sprint.. I may have a hard time keeping up.
I am a DAM ya know.
I "see" you.. I know you are trying to..
Relax Eat Think Act normal React.. Smartly. Do something different. Emulate. Do Work.
