OK here is my story

[Resilent]

I like almost everyone else on this board never thought I would find myself here. I'm a 47 year old Firefighter in a large midwest city. My wife is 37 years old. We have two kids a 13 year old boy and a 16 year girl. Life as I knew it ended for me in the first week of March when I got the I love you but talk. I've been lurking on this board for about a month, I already feel that its been a great help to me. My story goes like this. I've been married for 16 years. My wife was 21 when we got married. I picked her up for our first date from her dads apartment. she had a one year old daughter by a guy who had no interest in being involved with the birth or raising of the child. Prior to that my wife had had a miscarrage and two abortions all with different people. She went to 4 grade schools and 4 high schools in three different states. Her parents divorced when she was approx 6 years old. She then lived with her mom who would pay very little attention to her while she would follow various boyfriends and husbands around the southeast eash time moving my wife and her sister with her. She ran away from home twice until her mother finally sent her to live with her dad who was single and living in a apartment at the time. Divorce is very common in her family. Dad twice, Mom twice, Grandfather 4 times. Grandmother twice. Aunt who she is very close to her once. I'm sorry if this is a long story but the details are important. We married when she was 5 months pregnant with my son. Myself I come from a stable family my parents have been married 55 years. We live in the subberb that I grew up in. I adopted her daughter when she was 5 years old, I am the only father she has ever known. My wife quit her banking job when she became preg. with my son and became a stay at home mom which she has been ever since. My wife has attempted to get into nursing school three times but has been unable to pass the entrance exam. She finally did about a month ago, I'm very happy for her, she has always been active in the community and in our childrens lives. She is a very good mother. I always felt that she was very well adjusted considering her crazy background. I've always worked two jobs. We have a beautiful home three cars, a Mercury Mariner which we just bought prior to this all starting, our old "good" car which my daughter now drives and my 17 year old pickup which I drive. Life was good or so I thought. There were cracks now that I look back. Our sex life sucked, she always had a problem being intimate.My wife is very good looking and has always taken care of herself. I could tell my wife was unhappy a few years ago but like a moron I just figured that if I just kept working harder and helping around the house which I've always done she would find happiness. I was wrong. She has since told me that she tried to tell me that something was wrong about 5 years ago but I did not respond. Since the ILYBINILYU talk she has become a completely different person. She has lost weight. Works out all the time, tans, is very much more secerative spends alot of time on facebook which she dosent want me to see. She often goes out with friends now. She drinks now, she never drank prior to this starting. She has stated that she needs time and space from me. I know that it would appear that she is having an affair but I have no proof. I've looked, can't find anything. I think she is having a MLC. She states that I'm to nice of a guy. Probably true. She just got back from a vacation she setup with a girlfriend who just got divorced. She took my daughter and the other womans 3 girls and spent a week at the beach. I of course paid for our half of the trip. Me and my son stayed home and had a great time. Some good bonding time. She got back this afternoon and is currently out with friends. She often sent me text messages while she was gone and a few pictures. I have been working on detatchment which is going pretty well. I made sure to not be home when she got back. She sent 3 messages asking where I was. At this point going on 4 months of my nightmare she often will text me out of the blue, real chatty. I at this point never text her first. So its weird she dosent want me in her life but she is always texting me. She wants a seperation to give her time to see if she will miss me. She wants me to move out, which I don't think i'm gunna do(Thanks Coach, I've learned alot from you and Greek as well as some others). I hope this makes sense, Probably the longest letter i've ever written. Any advice from the board would be welcome. I truly love my wife and I don't want to see my family torn apart.