My game has changed from WAW to EA/PA HELP!!

[CD Bear]

Thank you, everyone. I didn't get a chance to see Sandi's post before I left today. I decided I had to risk talking to my associate where they work to see if it would tip the balance. It did. And I'm so glad I listened to my gut on this one.
Firstly, my friend didn't even know we had a problem. She seems normal at work. I started by asking him to verify that my second possible OM (a mechanic that is very nice and they talk all the time. She's quite open about her chats with him.) Friend says not a chance. This guy is so happily married it makes my friend jealous. When I mentioned the flower guy-where my fear was leading me- he actually laughed out loud! He said this guy is always out to prove how well he is doing in sales that he is always doing these kinds of things for female staff. And from what my friend has seen, the cards or notes are a little "off" so he can understand why W wouldn't bring it home. He actually commented that he would be more likely to believe that it would snow tomorrow than W and this guy would hook up. His remark was something like "he wouldn't have the courage to aim that high up the food chain". Wow, did I feel better.
Granted, that doesn't solve the sex supplies but by disproving these possible OM, I'm again without any evidence.
And the day got better.
She texted about 4 to say she was running into town after work. I was going over the last few posts here and commented back to her "OK, You're text was a little terse. You ok?" Seconds later she phoned (a recent increase over text) to apologize if I got that feeling (my expression is 'I don't like the tone of your font') Her texting interrupted by a customer and finished quickly. She then went on to thrill me with one of her patented comedic descriptions of the situation. We laughed like idiots again Just like last night. I said I had to go but seized the pleasant call to ask that she tell me when I can expect her home. "I want to have an awareness of your agenda so I can plan accordingly. I'm not concerned with where or who. Just when you are leaving and when you're planing to be home. And if you'll miss the time, just let me know as soon as you can" She said sure and right on time texted me to say she would be home at 9:30. Then called again to say 15 late as she had to stop for gas.
To top it off, I was laying in her bed with D when she came home. She laid down with us, as close to me as she's been in months. Then I saw it. I bought her a ring (two silvers held together by a little gold one ala we three) two months ago as a momento of her emergency ovarian surgery (she lost the right side tube). She originally didn't give much acknowledgement to it and said it didn't fit and put it on her necklace. Barely said thank you. And there it was on her right ring finger. It wasn't her wedding ring or her left ring finger, but it was in plain site. I feel really good.
The plan? Though I am still a little concerned about the "birthday weekend", I'm less afraid of PA and am more confident that she is noticing my changes and possibly coming around. I'm going to let her lead. She laughs, I laugh. She touches, I touch. See how it goes. But I will not get too close until she recommits to the R. And that means we'll have to talk about it. On her start.
I'm actually considering trying to accelerate the timeframe by proposing that, for the sake of D and her access to us, perhaps "we" should limit our week nights away from the house to maybe 2 max and reserve Sunday for equal access to both of us. Whether it's grocery shopping or hanging out in the yard with her. Just give her one entire day.

Any thoughts or comments? I don't want to get overly enthusiastic and "hope blind".

Incidentally,any opinions on whether the removal of an ovary could be affecting her emotions and/or character?

[Puppy Dog Tails]

I'm unconvinced. Sorry.

Puppy

[sandi2]

I believe that she suspects you are on to her. So her short term plan will be to act out just enough wifey behavior to convince you that an A was all your imagination.

Stay wise and keep your guard up. Women know these little "tricks" to play. She knew very well that you would notice the silver ring. She knows you and she knows pretty much what you would think when you saw her wearing it.....right?

The LBH is usually quick to see a glimpse of something the WAW does that's good and then he "over-kills" with glee.

[twolf]

CD..... Last week a cousin of mine wife left him and moved into her grandmas house.iIasked him what happened he said he did not know.I asked him what she said . she told him i love you butt im not in love with you garbage.

I told him he had to do little work and look at her cell phone bill. We found the problem she was talking to her old high school boyfreind.

The first I had him do is call her sister and expose the stich and had him ask her for advice.

well her sister confirmed that she was talking to him and they did go out for drinks a couple of times.

That was enough for us to confront other man.

When you show up with four guys and tell a man that it is not a good idea for another man to be hannging out with a married women he got the idea. We did not threten him we just stood around him and let my cousin say what he had to say.


She just moved back home last night. At the start my cousin was very emotinal she would text him wy she was gone that i love you and he didnt know what to think.

After we busted the E/A she amitted to every thing to him that he made her feel good about her self and he listened to her.She
was confused the faster you putt a stop to it the less chance she will leave.

And the ring thing my wife told me the same stuff .

[wanttobebetter]

She is playing you!!!!!!! Be very aware and do not let the good feelings numb your mind and gut!

[CD Bear]

Thank you everybody.
Notes taken.
W very chatty and coperative this morning.
I told her D and I would be home later after a meeting w/ my family regarding my parents' 50th in two weeks.
She said "Not sure if I'm doing anything tonight but Amanda wants to take me out tomorrow for my birthday.
What's wrong with this?
I'll tell you.
THIS is why you update your BB Msng status to say "Soooo excired about this weekend!"
And now I see the box with the airfreighted sex goodies hidden under a jacket in her truck.

May have been born at night but it wasn't LAST night.

Tailing her Saturday. Don't know how but I absolutely MUST!!

Thanks again. I'll check for your updates tonight. God< I wish I could afford a GPS tracker fro her truck. The just find her at my convenience when she's "comfortable" wherever.

[Puppy Dog Tails]

Callas,

You need to prepare yourself. Physically, emotionally and spiritually. Yours could be a very rough discovery.

You don't need a lot of money for a GPS system that's workable. This was mine:

My GPS system:

Yep -- about a $40, pay-as-you-go BoostMobile phone, with all of its sounds turned off (and a little piece of black electrical tape over its speaker, just in case), charged up and placed into my son's baseball gear bag (it was offseason) in the trunk of her car.

You can buy an app from BoostMobile called "MapQuest Find Me" for about five bucks per month, and then just add minutes as you need them (you'll hardly need them at all, since you won't be calling the phone or making any calls with it). BINGO -- a sub-$50 GSP unit.

The program is really good. It worked about 90-95% of the time, although I did have to take the phone out and re-charge it every couple of nights, and then get it back into the trunk without my wife catching me. Then I just logged on to a secure website, and I could "see" where her car was (this was legal, as the car was in my name and I paid for it). You can even set e-mail "alerts" when the phone comes within "X" distance of any predetermined location, so, for example, when her car was within 100 yards of OM's house, I'd get an e-mail.

Saves your time and worry with constant snooping, and the screen-shots make GREAT stocking-stuffers for your attorney

“Raw Intel Not for the Feint-of-Heart!!”

One important caveat I would add, however:

This (listening to/seeing raw intel) is NOT for the feint of heart. If you think you may react emotionally, and not be able to control yourself, or if you think it will be too emotionally devastating for you, you may want to enlisted a trusted, discreet third party to review your intel for you, and report only the top-line findings to you, and safely keep them for you.

[Puppy Dog Tails]

Thank you everybody.
Notes taken.
W very chatty and coperative this morning.

She's displaying all of the signs of someone who is excited about meeting with her OM. I'm sorry.

I'd recommend you have a buddy or family member go with you when you tail her. Someone who will support you emotionally, and talk you down from the ledge if needed, and someone who'll be discreet.

Puppy

[Sugar and Spice]

One important caveat I would add, however:

This (listening to/seeing raw intel) is NOT for the feint of heart. If you think you may react emotionally, and not be able to control yourself, or if you think it will be too emotionally devastating for you, you may want to enlisted a trusted, discreet third party to review your intel for you, and report only the top-line findings to you, and safely keep them for you.
[/i]

Amen to that! I'm behind Puppy on this one. Its hard, hurtful and extremely painful. It can do a lot of damage to your already battered self esteem, however it can also help put some resolve into your decision making (unless you are me, right pup?)

I also agree with his last post - Chatty, happy = rendezvous. Sorry. Take some support.

[twolf]

Here is what i would do i would go get a hyperdermick needle and some hobinaro oil and inject it in all that sex lotions.It will burn the heck out of you know what.
Or leave a note their and take them and say busted.

Plus follow her and confront, Talk in a low voice look them in the eyes and know that you are in the right.You have no shame your not the one doing this so be strong.