Stuck and don't know how to proceed

[Sugar and Spice]

I'm with TWolf. As long as you allow yourself to be his option while making him your priority, this is what he is going to do. He is M to you, living with the OW and dating/having an A with you behind her back? Wow.

Don't take this the wrong way, but I wouldn't go dim, I'd go pitch freakin' black! You sound like you need to step away from this for awhile and get some perspective on your sitch.

What do you want and what are you willing to live with? Is this situation ok for you? You already know if you cut him off he will come running, but for your own sanity you need to back away and get a plan and execute it.

As far as him telling you hurtful things, thats classic in-the-fog-spew, don't listen to him. Its easier to hurt you and hope you fight back so he can justify his actions rather than take responsibility for the mess hes made/making.