XH choosing no contact

[peacetoday]

Glam
scary stuff
Love takes us to the next level and your willingness and care for your H is amazing
I have prayed for my xh
but I will not go to battle for him
although I believe there is truth to that and as you have stated be very cautious--maybe seek professional help in that area and protect yourself--
you come so far--

Today I feel so vunerable
scared too
I look at all ive done on my own these past few years especially since D
I get scared
so much more to do
a lot of responsibiliites with the kids
sometimes not knowing what to do or how
Not knowing where things are going with BF and not even sure I can take this anywhere at this point
It all adds up to fear
and I know there is only one way out and it is through
but it is so scary

I spoke to an old neighbor today
she used to live next door to me and XH many years ago
Our daughters were 2 months apart and we became close
then we lost touch
she couldnt believe xh behavior
and that he does not talk to kids anymore
it is heartbreaking
and I know my kids will suffer greatly for his actions
that is sad
I sometimes just feel so angry at him-mostly for my children
and sometimes at myself for picking him
I was so naive
I will pray for forgiveness for myself and I will continue to let him go
it and his outcome are in Gods hands
peace