Ahhhhh want to articulate responses but they're not quite gelled yet. She's self-employed, working part-time. Yeah SR I've been all over the place I've lacked consistancy
AJM - yeah, that's it
I've said before, I seemed to be looking for some event to propel me into the next phase, where I'm OK. Stupid me, you know what it really is - I am still waiting for her to - take this away. I think I take her calls because I want her to - not come back - but to, I don't know, wake me up from the nightmare. That's not what I'm THINKING - but I see it now, on an emotional level, I'm still sitting here suspending disbelief, waiting for this to end.
