Dead hamsters aren't a bad choice either, they're a little less active at night and won't wake you up, they don't bite when your kid wants to braid their hair and they don't cost much food wise. Just remember to spray it with Fabreeze daily and who knows how long it will be the love of your daughters life. It's a good option really, think about it.
Stbxw texted me a little bit ago: I'm not feeling well and want to go rest. Can I come over this weekend or another time?
Me: sure, no problem. Want me to come get DD?
Her: no I'll be ok with her thanks. Already made rice and lentil soup last night so she has dinner to eat, thanks.
It was just instincts taking over to help her out.
Now I feel like replying: I just don't want dd catching whatever you have
Of course I won't.
Me: 35|WAW: 38|D: 6yo | http://tinyurl.com/2dxx7m6 Feb 2006, left, came back in two weeks Aug 2006, left again Apr 2007, filed for divorce Dec 2007, reunited Mar 2010, moved out, filed again
Her: no I'll be ok with her thanks. Already made rice and lentil soup last night so she has dinner to eat, thanks.
Mmm, mmm, good! Rice and Lentil soup, the kid must be drooling. I think DD may be phoning soon to ask you to come rescue her from the meals! Btw, nothing wrong with offering to help her out, that's co-operative parenting. There may be a day when you're sick and need her to give you a hand. But, if she doesn't want you to take DD early, why does she want to come over?
Oh she was coming over to take 'her' household stuff and for us to make a list of who keeps what furnishings. Her roommate was supposed to watch DD while we did this.
Oh the soup stuff, she's a vegan so it's usually tofu or beans or lentils etc. Some stuff is actually pretty darned good and DD actually loves the lentils soup. BUT it's like 100 degrees here today so not really a soup day but whatever...if I said anything logical she'd say I'm always criticising her.
Me: 35|WAW: 38|D: 6yo | http://tinyurl.com/2dxx7m6 Feb 2006, left, came back in two weeks Aug 2006, left again Apr 2007, filed for divorce Dec 2007, reunited Mar 2010, moved out, filed again
OK so I need to send her a response on the school issue and I need help. Here's what I got:
"I understand you completely and as you already know that I too would've liked for her to attend the [private] school. This is not a decision I took lightly. However, financially it's just not possible for me anymore. I've taken major steps to reduce my expenses but still I'm have a negative cash flow.
If you are able to fund her private school fully at least until 5th grade then I'm OK with it otherwise she'll go to the [my district] public school. As you said to me not long ago the house is her's and the school should be where her house is. Between the house and the school I believe it'll provide the most stable environment for her given the circumstance. Any change in schools in a year or two from now will be detrimental to her. I trust that you will understand my reasons just as I understood yours.
I also feel that we should get a professional to help us develop some sort of a co-parenting plan for DD's sake. If you're OK with it I'll research some options and make an appt for you and I go."
Not sure how else to say it without getting the emotions involved.
Last edited by StupidRomeo; 06/18/1003:31 PM.
Me: 35|WAW: 38|D: 6yo | http://tinyurl.com/2dxx7m6 Feb 2006, left, came back in two weeks Aug 2006, left again Apr 2007, filed for divorce Dec 2007, reunited Mar 2010, moved out, filed again
Thanks wii. I feel like it's not enough like it's missing something or needs to be more convincing.
Me: 35|WAW: 38|D: 6yo | http://tinyurl.com/2dxx7m6 Feb 2006, left, came back in two weeks Aug 2006, left again Apr 2007, filed for divorce Dec 2007, reunited Mar 2010, moved out, filed again
I would leave out the "if you're ok with it" re the co-parenting thing. Don't ask her, tell her you need to do this and it's money better spent than on L's. Say something like: "I'm researching people now and will let you know who we have to choose from or who I think it best, etc"
When the men on the chessboard Get up and tell you where to go; And you've just had some kind of mushroom And your mind is moving slow; Go ask Alice... I think she'll know.
Thanks alice! what about the logic/reasoning, does that make sense?
Me: 35|WAW: 38|D: 6yo | http://tinyurl.com/2dxx7m6 Feb 2006, left, came back in two weeks Aug 2006, left again Apr 2007, filed for divorce Dec 2007, reunited Mar 2010, moved out, filed again
yep, it all does and you did a good job of staying non-emotional but being very clear. There's such a change in your emails- I know it's hard not to say all the other stuff, but this is the right way to go now.
The only thing that I'm not sure about is: I trust that you will understand my reasons just as I understood yours.
My thoughts: does she need to understand? Is this line necessary? It is letting a tiny bit of emotion in. Another way of wording it that is hard for her to argue with is something like:
I know you also want the best for DD and to minimize the upheaval in her life, so I know you'll agree that we should do x,y,z.
Something like that. It subtly implies that if she disagrees with you she doesn't have DDs best interests in mind, so if she wants to argue, she better have a hell of a good reason and stuff to back it up. It also sounds reasonable at the same time.
When the men on the chessboard Get up and tell you where to go; And you've just had some kind of mushroom And your mind is moving slow; Go ask Alice... I think she'll know.
