She has now effectively cancelled ALL talking with the counselor, even about our communications problems and gone back on her word from just a couple days ago to continue to do so for the benefit of the kids, with the single exception of tommorow night, which is to concern nothing more then division of property topics.
PRESSURE. Pressure doesn't work on women who leave you. You are pressuring her about MC. It is going to backfire.
This is what I told you was going to happen a few days ago. I TOLD you so. What you are doing is NOT going to work. It isn't working and it isn't GOING to work. You are going backwards.
I dont know how many times or different ways I can say this. it WASNT MCing !!! It was focused on trying to resolve our different communication issues so we could at least speak about the kids without it turning into a blow out. Perfect example, just the other day I made a statement about " Im putting DD into counseling " as if thats not what WAW wanted either. Now thats NOT the way I intended it to come out or to insinuate anything, but with the third party there to point out how it was perceived, I DID realize it AFTER the fact. It was also pointed out to WAW something that SHE said to me that came out completely different then the way she meant to. And when that was pointed out she agreed that it could have been said differently/better.
Now, all that being said, if working on our comms skills had the almost unavoidable side benefit of helping bridge the chasm between us, even indirectly, then that was certainly a most welcome positive and something I defintely wanted to happen. But that was NOT the " focus" of the sessions.Hell, I dont even think any "US" stuff came up. Then again, it seems WAW in her fog feels that nearly ANYTHING, such as when she is going to return my truck is " US" stuff. How the hell am I supposed to not be treated like a doormat and establish limits and boundaries when EVERYTHING is " US " in her mind ????
I just made DD an appointment with a counselor to deal with all this crap. First one is in two weeks. Found out its a female who is family oriented, and they want both of us to be there for the intake appt. To speak to all of us individually to get a handle on exactly whats been going on. If we can get to the end of the summer and WAW is at least starting to open up about her issue's, then maybe in another 6 mos or something we'll see where we are and evaluate a transition to family counseling.
I DONT have a problem not talking about " US " stuff, I can be patient. I could hear in her voice and see in her eyes that she DOES NOT want to be in this position ( the seperation ) albiet its buried WAY WAY down below all the hurt and anger, and she blames me for the situation, which is certainly fair enough to an extent.
