BE, I know how you feel. It is painful to realise the H you loved and started building a life with, is not the man you thought he was. I went through that too with my H for 10 years from about the 2nd year of our M, that I know of ... he had a porn issue. He finally got help, but I never truly trusted again. Then he had the EA.
That is why I say you cannot be married to someone with an addiction. It may not be a drug, or alcohol, but an addiction to porn or affairs is almost worse. It is easier to hide and by the time you realise what you have, it's too late (especially if you have children, which I did). You, at least, found out early in your M. I am not advocating you D him (that's up to you), but you do have an opportunity here to leave and start fresh. You could work on your own issues, then hopefully, find a man who does not have these problems; have a family. I always told my girls to be careful who they choose as the father of their children.
I understand, though, that you are still working on detaching. It is hard. I couldn't do it until now, and that is 5 years after our so-called reconciliation. We had too much history together. He didn't change and so I fell out of love with him.
Don't allow yourself to be the victim of his addiction. Let go and see what life has to offer without him. If he gets help and works on himself, then perhaps later on, if you haven't found someone else, you can revisit the R and see if there is anything left to salvage (assuming he will want to), or to start anew. This is just my perspective, and something for you to think about.
Know that this is not your fault. Take care.
Me:57 H:52 M:28 Got another lawyer last year and filed. D35,S/D twins28,D22 EA4/04 End? Who knows? "Life is like a mirror. Smile at it and it smiles back at you." — Peace Pilgrim
