Hey all. Taking some of the advice here and going out with my brother for his birthday tonight in Milwaukee. Should be a great time.

Kids were asking about D again last night. I had told them I was tired. They asked why and I said that I didn't sleep much. My son asked, why, cause you miss Mom? (she is sleeping in the other room). I said "yes, I miss her a lot." he asked if he should tell her and I said no, she already knows. Then they asked if we were getting D and I said I hope not, but what if we do? My son said he would jump off a cliff and my daughter said she would drown herself. Then they went on to talk about how the toys other divorced kids have are split between houses. They seemed ok, but I think this is really going to hurt them. My wife wants to tell them this weekend and say it was a mutual decision. I told her if they ask me, I will tell them this is not what I want, but I want Mom to be happy. I like the idea of having her tell them she is filing for a divorce, but I just don't know if that is best for the kids.

I also told her that she will not be living in our house with the kids, but without me after the divorce. she said she is not living together after it is final, so I said "why dont you just move out now?" Then I told her ither I will be buying her out or the house will be sold for what we can get for it at that time. I also told her I am going for 50% placement of the kids. She said she would fight it, but these days the judges almost always award it unless there is a serious issue that would prevent me from being a good dad. She said, apparently there was before, so I asked her what? She said "you are selfish I guess." She thinks I haven't spent enough time with the kids while they were younger, but don't think that reasoning will cut it for the judge. I was working 50-60 hrs a week, plus a 1 hr commute each way every day so we could live where she wanted to live and she could work part-time so she could drop-off/pick-up the kids every day and take care of everything for them. I told her she will find out what it is like when she goes back full time and she just said yeah, yeah and walked away. So I yelled walk away after her.

We had a couple of civil exchanges after that, so I think things will be ok, but she just left for the beach with the kids. I didn't go because I am leaving and will have the kids all day tomorrow. Sometimes I think it would just be better to forget about her and move on and find someone else.

Looks like this may get ugly for a while, but I do need to grow my balls back.

Anyway, thanks to everyone for their opinions and support. It really is good to talk to others going through the same things as I am.