Has your DBng worked so good you're ready for a D?

[beingreal]

Getting back together with my wife WAS plan B.
: )

Booyah! Glad to see this. Very glad. This is where I'm at right this moment & was starting to feel guilty for not feeling guilty. kwim? lol It doesn't matter what H does or feels, I know my life will be really good, regardless of how this ends. I'm ready to be happy.




Hey Dbs, I read the part about your W being molested as a little girl & I wanted to shed a little light. I know you can't even suggest this to her, but just so you know for any future offers of intimacy...

She is going to need some serious help to get over this. I know, "duh", right? But really--right now in her mind, everything she relates to sexual intimacy is so very twisted. Sex=emotional torture. A man who wants sex from her, even though they cherish and love her and it's not just a physical act, he is still just going to hurt her. Maybe not every time--but eventually he will hurt her.

It's the equation. It's the rule. Period. And as much as part of her wants to believe that it's different, there will always be that little girl inside her head screaming for him to stop.

You did nothing wrong, I promise. Like I said, it's just really twisted in her brain. She is going to need real help getting over that or she will spend the rest of her life in this cycle.

I don't care if she says she is fine, she's not. You think DBing is hard work? Working through this is just infinitely more difficult. Trust me.

I just wanted to make a point that her history of abuse is most likely playing more of a role than even she knows right now.

I'm so sorry for her...my heart breaks for both of you. This is a lot to deal with.

(((hugs)))

shel