Well, my W asked to talk last night but never instigated a conversation about whatever was on her mind. I don't really know why, perhaps she was waiting for me to approach her about it or she was just too tired, or she got cold feet. But the 800 lb. gorilla in the room just gained 100 lbs. because now we have this hanging in the air.
I came home last night and she was there with the babysitter and my two boys came running over to me shouting, "Hi, Dad!" (they're 2) and I grabbed them both and hugged and kissed them like crazy. My W was watching with the caretaker and smiling. Our routine was normal: we played with the boys, fed them before bed and I didn't sense any great stress from the W.
After the boys were sleeping she sat on the couch and watched her TV shows that she recorded during the day. Was I supposed to chase her down and ask what she wanted to talk about? Perhaps. I ran out to pick up a Chinese soup (I offered, she thought about it and didn't get anything to eat) and was back in about 20 min.
I sat in our kitchen watching TV and eating my soup. She never said a word to me. I sat there wating for her to initiate the conversation since I figured it was what she wanted to do. She never did. She passed through the kitchen, grabbed a can of cat food to feed the cat and went to bed.
This morning it was like nothing ever happened. She was in good spirits, we gave the boys breakfast and took them outside to play. She didn't seem angry or stressed out that we didn't talk. The reality is that my W is a good actress in front of the kids. I don't know how she does it sometimes. She can let go of all hostility and act like there is nothing going on.
I am not sure how much to blame myself for not putting myself in front of her to talk. I rationalized and took the easy way out by doing nothing, but putting myself at an arms length for her to start a conversation. It just never happened.
