Re-Connecting

[Fightingforher]

I told my wife that I've removed her from the phone plan, she didn't seem shocked. She said she would call to set up her own. I also told her that I would prefer to do the event on my own with my son for Father's day. She said she really wanted to go but she understood.

I still haven't told her that I know about the communciation with the OM. I think I'll keep it that way, it will certainly avoid any arguements. All the respect I used to have for her has gone.

[TimeHeals]

All the respect I used to have for her has gone.

Well, I can see her actions lately are impossible to respect.

[Fightingforher]

The W called our service provider and called me crying because the cell phone is expensive and with her salary she doesn't know how she's going to afford everything on her own.

"I understand"... is my new response. I'm not sure what she is looking for out of me anymore. I've stopped giving her the satisfaction of "everything will be ok".

[Fightingforher]

So for those of you who have dealt with the EA/PA. How do you cope with it daily? I'm forced to live with my W right now until we figure out the house situation. I'm trying to keep things as civil as possible but what suggestions do you have??

I'm trying to keep busy but when she isn't around my mind goes crazy. I've detached myself as much as I can, I'm working on removing her from my cell phone plan so I can't access the records to see what is happening right before my eyes.

Any help would be appreciated, anything that worked for anyone going through this.

[Fightingforher]

I got bad news today, it looks like selling the house isn't an option. The market is so bad and we owe more then what's it's worth. I'm going to see what I can do to buy out the W. It will be tight but hopefully it can happen.

I'm really struggling the past few days knowing that my W and OM have reconnected. Does anyone have any suggestions on how to keep them out of my mind. I'm trying to keep busy but nothing seems to work.

[TimeHeals]

Does anyone have any suggestions on how to keep them out of my mind.

It gets a lot easier when they aren't in the same house.

Just you and your kids will be nice.

[Fightingforher]

I hope it gets easier. I'm not sure how long we will be trapped in this house. The sooner I can start moving forward the better.

[TimeHeals]

Moving forward happens one little thing at a time.

For me, I started walking my dogs daily, and taking care of the house and two dogs all by myself kept me busy, and now it's about planned maintenance, work is keeping me busy, and so on.

Pretty soon, you spend your time thinking about all of the stuff you are doing, going to do, and the things you now can do, and you stop spening all of your energy on your spouse.

Just let it happen naturally, and that happens one step at a time. What you need to do first are little things to establish a new routine.

[Fightingforher]

My son and I went to the event today. We had a great time, it was a nice drive up there. I actually missed my W being there, but I couldn't handle thinking if her and OM are actually an item now.

As soon as I was leaving early this morning she was showering to go out for the day. Not sure if she is coming home tonight but I guess there is nothing I can do about that.

She actually agreed to give me the house. I'm going to try and refi to get her name off of the loan and it's all mine. We can actually start moving forward, and I'm really looking forward to that. I can't take not knowing anymore, at least if out of site out of mind.

[Fightingforher]

My W just sent me a text that she won't be coming home tonight. She sent me another text asking if son and I were ok. She said that her sisters were taking stepdad to dinner for fathers day and wanted to know if I would come.

I respectfully declined, I just don't have any desire to look at her knowing what I know. Why does she want me around at times? Guilt?????