When DD 10 was about 3, she'd do something naughty and get scolded. Her response? "I don't understand why you're punishing ME - it was BAD me that did that! We started referring to her parallel universe as "{DD's name} World," after "Elmo's World" on Sesame Street.
Yesterday, when WH didn't show for dinner as scheduled, DD 10 said, out of the blue, "When is he going to stop living in {WH's name} World and rejoin reality?" I nearly choked on my food.
It's insightful, because this is something Larry talks about extensively - only he calls the BAD alter ego "Freddy," as in "Nightmare on Elm Street" Freddy.
You know how in cartoons when the main character comes to a crossroads and an angel and a devil appear on either shoulder, giving him the pros and cons of a situation? Larry says the angel is the real person, the devil is their "Freddy."
When someone starts acting completely out of character, like during an affair or MLC, it's because their Freddy has taken over their bodies. It's NOT them; it's their BAD them.
The problem is, you can't spank or give your spouse a time out to try to suppress their BAD them - you have to get smarter and much more creative in order to outwit their Freddy (unless you consider a 180 a MAJOR time out! LOL!).
So next time your WS acts like a spoiled brat, remember it's their BAD them - they've entered {WS's name} -and try not to take it too personally...
