You know, nlt, I've made a similar comment that if I had known, he would not have hit MLC. Who really knows? You can't say that, it may be inevitable like some say and if we were more understanding and intuitive, it may have been milder or not happened. Logically, I believe that I could have helped him avoid this, but remember, MLC is NOT logical.
Boy Timeheals, you really nailed it there. You're right, nothing mattered to my H other than HOW OW made him feel. And there was nothing I could have done to do the same for him, because he told me he was purposefully putting up walls so I couldn't get in. He really told me that, which looking back - now means to me that he shut me out in order to facilitate the affair.
Forever, I don't think my marriage was bad at all, we were really best friends, but we ignored each other's needs. That's the worst of it, excepting those very few times where I lost my temper and said mean things - I did tell H to f off twice. Two times in 12 years, but he's right, it was more than too much... Again, looking back, I realize I was hurt and really lost and confused about his behavior and he wasn't opening up to let me in, but that was during the beginning rumblings of MLC... he wasn't about to open up to me. They definitely do find ways to make the A seem OK to them, that's for sure.
Thanks SA, I'm going to have a great weekend, I hope you do, too.
