I truely appreciate any outlook anyone has. Believe me, I wish to God I could stop counting. I haven't seen anyone's thread where they have mentioned how long they have gone without any contact whatsoever from their WS. All the threads that have mentioned going dark always mention some kind of contact that was had. When I say nothing, I mean absolutely nothing has passed between us. Is this usual?
While I understand the concept of 'Absence makes the heart grow fonder', this is truly the longest I have gone without word from my husband in 20 years. It ain't the army it used to be. They had satellite phones, he called every 3 days or so. He wrote letters to me and I wrote back. Cat04, you are absolutely right. He has put his job ahead of us at every turn, and I've learned to accomadate that. I never knew I was so emotionally dependent on him until now. I always thought he was emotionally dependent on me.
Mach, you are right when you say my focus needs to be on ME, not the R. I do pretty good in the outside world. At home, alone, my heart and my head go to war. Getting a Life is easier when you don't live out in the mountains by yourself. I can go to town, but in a town of 5500, there is only so much to do. Example: tomorrow I am planning to vacuum the floor and sweep up all the dead dirt dobbers that have gotten into the house. I can go to town, but there is only so much in Wal-Mart to see, and I have very little money.
I have a friend of 40 years, a male, who has been very supportive of me. He's always been a buddy. Then he appeared to want to be a buddy with benefits. He was gracious with the rejection, but has backed away to the point that I don't feel right calling and talking to him.
I know from experience that 3.5 months is nothingI just wasn't alone in the woods the last time. I still had kids at home, something to focus on. Yes, I'm on an antidepressant.
Keep kicking me in the a$$ ladies and gentlemen. It's just not in me to give up. In fact, that is the last thing I said when I spoke to my husband. I DON'T QUIT!
