I have four young kids and share your agony about what this will do to them and how I don't want to be a part time dad. We have to play the cards we are dealt.
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She'll have to do a lot more if SHE is the one to move out.
It took every ounce of strength and willpower for a couple of months before I found this site for me not to leave my home. It still does, sometimes. But, everyone here is right; if she wants the D, she needs to be the one to leave. I am at the point in my sitch that I wish, every day, she would leave. It would make it easier to do what I would need to do in that situation. No more wondering, pressure, walking on eggshells. But, she won't.
The best thing for us to do is:
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Don't become cold and nasty, just be "gone".
Act like you have accepted the whole sitch and agree with her. It is hard, but my W has backed down each time I have said, "I agree and I am done, too. Let's get lawyers and get this thing going and stop wasting time." I still get the silent treatment, but she won't leave. And I wonder why; is she having second thoughts, has she changed her mind? As Greek pointed out to me today, I can't wonder about why. I can control my actions and attitude towards her when she is an a$$. Just let her be.
Post often and get your frustrations out here. It does help!
