Others have told me I am too nice too, but the book says not to become cold or nasty, bust to distance yourself. I think the court would have me move out and her and the kids stay there if living together was an issue, right? Should I move out so she can do everything for herself and find out what she is missing?
Don't become cold and nasty, just be "gone". I don't know what state you're in, but get yourself the best lawyer you can and find out what your legal rights are. She's the one who wants the D, she should be the one to leave, not you. Think about it, she's trying to throw you out of your own home! Stop working on the D papers with her. Tell her your tired of having all this negative crap weigh you down, that you want to start living again, and even if it costs more, it's worth it to have a lawyer deal with all the legal mumbo jumbo. Give her your lawyer's card and tell her to deal with him/her from now on regarding the legal stuff, then go have some fun.
She'll have to do a lot more if SHE is the one to move out.
I know the idea of shared custody probably breaks your heart, but unfortunately she's only leaving you with bad options, and I think the best of those is 50/50 custody. At least the kids maintain a significant relationship with both of you. If she gets primary custody, you'll become an "every other weekend" Dad, which is truly heart breaking. At least if you have them half the time, you'll get to experience life with them. Remember, her trying to get primary custody is a way for her to minimize HER pain over all this, NOT the kids pain. She'll try to use the kids as leverage on you. Don't let her.
