Funny thing is that we still get along so good. We never fought before and still don't. Since telling me in January that she hasn't been happy we have gone to a number of concerts, sporting events with the kids, visited relatives, talked, etc. and always seem to have a good time. She smiles, laughs, jokes and sometimes even gives me nice looks, but she has always been so cold about her lack of feelings for me. Then she files for divorce without telling me and just keeps pushing through. She told our neighbor that I think it is a MLC, but she knows it isn't. She has "thought through every scenario" (without talking to me about it) and she "KNOWS with ABSOLUTE CERTAINTY that this is what she HAS to do."
I don't understand how we can have such good times and yet she still feels this way about our marriage? I am at a loss.
EXACTLY like my W. Your W won't truly appreciate these good times until she loses them. All her talk about "thought through every scenario" is pure BS. Has she really thought about you getting a new W? That new W getting all these good times? This new W being in HER kids' lives? Splitting the holidays with the kids?
Back in November, my W, in her warped frame of mind, actually suggested we do Christmas together, that I sleep on the sofa at her house on Christmas Eve so we can both be there when the kids get up. This is what she suggests after she has an A and leaves me. Yeah, right! I said "No, you get Christmas Eve and Christmas morning this year, I'll pick the kids up at noon on Christmas Day." I told her nothing about my plans with the kids for Christmas, I told her nothing about my gifts for them. She dropped them off at my house, I opened the door and let the kids go running in, I said thanks, and Merry Christmas, handed her small gifts for her and the dog (she took the dog when she left), smiled and closed the door. She kept her chin up, but she knows this year I get the kids on Christmas Eve and Christmas morning, and it made her face brutal reality.
They claim to be helpless about their lack of feelings, but when forced to confront these hard realities, all of a sudden their feelings just "pop" back. My W even says "I don't know why, but I'm attracted to you again." Wow. The thing is, I don't think she's lying, I think she IS attracted to me again (she sure acts like it!), and I really think she has no idea that fear of loss is what has triggered her feelings.
