thanks, y'all. I'm much better today, and even yesterday. just one of those nights, and it passed.

yeah, I can identify with what you expressed, gardener. what I want even more than to be loved, is to love fully and without reservation--just to say I've done it once in my life! but I'm afraid that in spite of wanting that, I'll always hold back out of fear. there was a book--"Love is Letting go of Fear" and the title has always stuck with me. I want that, I want to give that much...but this time, without losing myself in the process. I know there's a way to do that, and I hope that I've learned enough at this point in my life to find that balance.


M60
H52
D20
M14 yrs
OW-old gf from 1986
bomb-5/18/08
H filed for D-9/10/08
D final 4/24/09
xH remarried (not OW) 2012