Hi everyone, I am brand new to this site after reading The Divorce Remedy and I need some help on how to deal with my kids. I think my wife is going through a mid-life crisis, she filed for divorce last week and wants to tell the kids now that we are getting divorced. I obviously do not want this, but I don't know what I can tell my kids. Can I tell them that I am agreeing to it and I think it is what is best, but that is not what I want or does that have too negative an impact on their lives? Everything I have read says to tell them that this is final so they don't continue to have hope, even though I do.
I am 43 years old and have been with my wife for 23 years We have 2 kids, ages 11 and 9. We have essentially spent all of our adult lives together. In January, my wife told me that she hasn't been happy for 10 years. She loves me, but is not in love with me. We went to see a counselor, but he was worthless and she didn't even try. I read 4 books, but showing her more love and support didn't work. I did everything she asked of me, except give her space. I couldn't bring myself to leave her side. She recently said that she cares about me and we could be friends forever and hang out, but she doesn't want to have any intimacy with me and she knows those feelings will never change. I found out recently that she has had or is still having an emotional affiar with a married man. She has lost 30 lbs (weighs 130lbs @ 5' 10") and has become a workout freak. She is a parole officer and recently said the only thing she can do is evaluate sex offenders. She has been putting a lot of pressure on herself and believes that once I am gone, she will be happy. Does this sound like a MLC to you guys?
We are planning to both live in the house while the divorce is pending because we can't afford to live apart. I'm not sure that is a good idea, but I don't really have any other options. I am really hoping that she will come around eventually, but I don't know how long I will be able to wait it out.
