Wife moves out 5 mnths ago with the classic WAW script.
I back off, do my 180's and we gradually start to see each other, talk, and have sex occasiionally.
last month I thought we were really stating to reconnect, so I strated a R talk. I told her I still wanted to try to save the marriage, but the only thing I required for us to continue was that I had no know she was not seeing anyone else.
She told me she was, but it was "not serious".
The not serious comment meant nothing to me, and I told her I was done, and went dark.
After about a month, last night rolls around, and she calls me.
She wants to "try" and comes clean about everything.
The person she was "seeing" was a mutual friend of ours. Someone who actually hung out with me during this separation, and best friends with one of my good friends.
I am devastated. I knew she was seeing someone, so that wasn't the surprise, but WHO she was seeing was.
I told her I needed to think about things now.
I am so angry, I have no idea what to do.
All I wanted was for my wife to be willing to try to repair our marriage, and now she does, but of course there had to be a twist...
I know you must be hurt, especially when the OM was even a friend of yours, there during your separation.
Everything you are feeling is totally normal.
I guess the silver lining here is that she was honest with you and told you the truth and came clean finally. Is she still ni communication with him? When was the last time you talked?
I'm sorry to hear about your latest twist, but there may be a silver lining...
While you are angry and conflicted about whether you want your W, she is feeling the potential loss of you while you are the WAW. Since people want what they can't have, this may give her an opportunity to realize how much she really wants to be with you.
Don't rush into any R talks for a while while you cool off and figure out what you want to do next.
Thanks for the replies everyone... I am just a bucket of emotion today.
That phone call last night was honestly the last thing I expected to happen.
I don't know what to do next.
Her and I had originally planned to get together saturday night for a beer and to talk about what our next steps should be, but I dont know if I can even look at her right now.
I have kept low key for the past few weeks (month?) but i just want you to know that i feel the anger of having a friend do that to you and your M.
I found out over 3 months ago and still struggle with it everyday - not only the betrayal from my W but this "friend" would sit and drink beers with me in my home....during the A. Some balls huh?
anyhow - hang tough and make sure you see that silver lining eeyoe was speaking of...amazing how they want back something they now realize they are about to lose.
gman
M-37 W-36 S-11, S-9, D-4 PA exposed 3/13/10 10/19/10 moving on... most up to date sit
anger is a b1tch - never know what little thing my upset you at any given moment.
i have been looking at it this way - my W cheated on me, can't change that - never will.
what i did do is took a long hard look at my M, W and myself - do i want to be part of this every day? Right now my answer is for my family - yes.
don't let the anger consume you - find an outlet for it...p90x seems to kick my a$$ and squash some of the raw emotion (and i am looking pretty good if i do say so myself )
will try to keep eye on you and offer any insight.....oh and have still not had the face-to-face with OM yet...
Gman
M-37 W-36 S-11, S-9, D-4 PA exposed 3/13/10 10/19/10 moving on... most up to date sit
And I hear you... I am so back and froth right now I am trying to not make a decision on what to do.
I am thinking about keeping our meeting on saturday to talk, where I will explain to her what I NEED for us to even "try"... She might not like what I have to say but I am fully prepared to walk away if she is not willing.
