So he has a week to move b/c that's what you told him. And that's what you need to stand by. If you don't, you are agreeing to share your man and that's not who you are.
Greek
Me45 H46 T25 M22 S21 & 19 D13 Separated and filed 8/08 Moved home 11/08
at this point what do I do? do I get boxes and let him know I am keeping them in the house? do I make garage sale signs..how do I let him know I am serious about this? Do I detach? Do I stop sleeping with him? How can I change the way he views this to know I am serious?
If he hasn't packed his things up yet, go ahead and do it for him. Stack the boxes by the back door. When the week is up, put them in the garage. Greek
Me45 H46 T25 M22 S21 & 19 D13 Separated and filed 8/08 Moved home 11/08
Yes. He did...and I let him stay last night. I am stupid.
You are not stupid - you are scared. You WERE scared - you're not now. When he comes home, say "H, when I said no contact with ow, that is what I meant. You had lunch with her Monday and that is unacceptable and destructive to our marriage. You have a week to find another place to live and I will be interviewing lawyers first thing in the morning. I have decided that I will not live in an open marriage."
Greek
Me45 H46 T25 M22 S21 & 19 D13 Separated and filed 8/08 Moved home 11/08
Swimming.... I don't think I have posted to you before, and you are getting good advice.
Don't call yourself stupid! The mistake was in setting a condition, really as an ultimatum, without thinking it though. Then, when he broke it, you ended up having to react to your own ultimatum, and you couldn't.
For the boundary to work, you have to know ahead of time exactly what your plan is, and you have to be fully committed to it.
So make a plan, and commit now. And stop with the calling yourself names!
So even though he says he is done with her..I should give that speech or should I wait and see. Give him this last chance. And then give the speech??? Should I bring home boxes and let him know I am serious...
I am going to start GALing I am going to do some 180's I am going to get boxes, leave them out and if he does not break contact then I am going to pack his stuff in boxes I am going to find a new job in the next 2 months That is my plan. He has this chance..Lets see what he does with it. But I will not give in to him anymore.
