Thanks twolf. Yes, the pastor has made several attempts to talk to her. His wife is even a therapist and she has also attempted to talk to her. W doesn't want to hear any of it. She just keeps saying, "I tried for 11 years!" We have been married for 12 years, but she can't claim the last year because she gave up working on our marriage when OM came along about a year ago.
My wife is asking for a divorce and I don't completely understand why.