What to Do Next

[loweinsd51]

OK...get out the 2x4's...

In MC, I set the boundary of no contact with OM with a consequence of me leaving the marriage.

Due to previous blowups at home and to temper the situation, I'm staying with family and we are in family counseling to work through some anger issues that one of our DD's is having...more of a trial separation for a short period than an LS. We set some goals and I let WW know that the boundary that I set in our last MC session is still a condition for me to return to attempt R.

Now, I have no reason to believe that WW will stop contact with OM based on the text exchange that we had a few days ago. WW said she has a problem with being told that she cannot talk to OM as "friends". WW says that I'm going to have to trust her that the contact with OM is strictly as "friends". I told her I can't trust her unless there is transparency. WW says she doesn't know if I will ever trust her again and that is one thing she really needs to think about...is she willing to live that way and that this is about her & I not OM. I'm not sure if she is talking about transparency or trust overall...her phone and computer both have passwords.

My sitch seems to be somewhere between MLC and EA!

I've been in NC with WW except for logistics of kids but have called (one of my DD's usually answers the phone)daily to talk to DD's and tell them IMY ILY and Goodnight. I have them for weekends Friday - Sunday.

My GAL activities:
Learning guitar
Surfing
Went for a beer by myself at a bistro near my where I'm staying
Reading self help books
Reading other DB stories on these boards
Going for walks
Just being genuinely pleasant.

Part of my problem is that I let WW and our relationship define me rather than me defining me...make sense?

So I'm starting to build more self esteem and confidence that no matter what, I'll be fine and if we D, then someday WW will look back and lament the mistake that she made!