While I know it is hard, maybe try to stop counting the days and weeks dark.
I understand about waiting. My H was/is civil service so the job always came first. You learn to be self sufficient in so many ways, but you never really think about your emotional independence. And when they are home, you expect them to be present.
One thing I found, was when I stopped worrying about him, and just continued living my life, at first, as if he was at work again, it made it much easier.
Sometimes we have to play little mind games with ourselves to get into the right frame of mind.
"Acceptance doesn't mean resignation. It means understanding that something is what it is and there's got to be a way through it."--Michael J. Fox
