It's a very thin line, I know. When she calls and wants to discuss parenting issues you feel you should listen. You are right, she is still your boys mother! When mine talks about her frustrations re the kids, I listen. You think about your kids and the fact that they have to spend their time with her too. If she's in bad shape, then your kids suffer. I'm completely empathetic with you on that point. But, if she is using you as her sole emotional support through this, that is unfair and not healthy for you. It puts you in a difficult position and makes it harder for you to deal with the issues you need to deal with. It might be wise to say "Hey, it sounds like you're having a lot of feelings about that issue, why don't you call your friend e.g. Satan and talk it over, she's always been helpful.". Help her by directing her elsewhere. At some point though, you could also draw the boundaries, "I'm more than OK in discussing parenting issues but I think it might be better if you called others about this kind of thing (whatever the non-parentin issue might be)" It is tough, in a way because you are both dealing with the same life changes and struggles in learning to be a single parent so you get drawn towards each other. Yet, you need to protect yourself Geronimo!
