There is a lady in my divorce support group (her H walked out on her while having an affair) that is now in the reconciliation process. Her H has moved back home and they are both in IC and couples C'ing. Her rule of thumb is she initiates an invitation, text, phone call or e-mail ONLY after her H has initiated three. It is working beautifully for her.
Her H was just like your W... very cold, zero communication unless it suited him and seemingly miserable. My friend had very strict "rules" for him moving him (he asked to after she went dark for nearly two years, she did expose his affair but it did no good).
To her, now is the time her H should be doing lots of work and pursing her. Now is the time to see if something else will work for you. This might be something to consider.
