Recently w has asked me if I would like to go "somewhere" whereas in the past and was all initiated by me. To be honest I have not focused on this and will begin to.
As I mentioned W is doing more than she has since sitch began. W also makes small gestures such as she poured us both a beverage (small but improvement)
I will need to start looking for these things perhapse I was over looking them.
Unless my W ask me to do something or go somewhere I will try to do more on my own but as a 180 I been giving w the option to go along with me.
M: 27, W: 25 Together since: 01/31/00 M: 10/4/09 (8 Months) ILBNILWY: 01/24/10 EA confirmed: 02/10/10 (Busted). Road to Reconcile began: 07/10/10 Retrouvaille: 09/10/10
There is a lady in my divorce support group (her H walked out on her while having an affair) that is now in the reconciliation process. Her H has moved back home and they are both in IC and couples C'ing. Her rule of thumb is she initiates an invitation, text, phone call or e-mail ONLY after her H has initiated three. It is working beautifully for her.
Her H was just like your W... very cold, zero communication unless it suited him and seemingly miserable. My friend had very strict "rules" for him moving him (he asked to after she went dark for nearly two years, she did expose his affair but it did no good).
To her, now is the time her H should be doing lots of work and pursing her. Now is the time to see if something else will work for you. This might be something to consider.
It is hard to explain. W and I just plan to go places or do things and thinking back I am not quite sure who initiated. I just go with the flow. There are things I still do on my own and W does too.
Going back to this post
Quote:
She is not receptive to any form of very brief physical touch and she has not really offered you any affirmation.
I would not necessarily say W was receptive but she was not rejecting but there have been times where I did briefly touch W on arm or hand and she did not pull away like she had in the past. More recently I have been tempted to hold her hand in a public place but unsure if that is a constructive thing to do at this point. Would it? I don't want to pursue my W but I often wonder if she is waiting for me to initiate something.
Today I will wait for W to ask/invite me to do something. She has already alluded to a couple things but we'll see if she verbalizes them today.
M: 27, W: 25 Together since: 01/31/00 M: 10/4/09 (8 Months) ILBNILWY: 01/24/10 EA confirmed: 02/10/10 (Busted). Road to Reconcile began: 07/10/10 Retrouvaille: 09/10/10
For those who have followed and contributed to my thread and sitch I thank you. I started a new thread in another section thinking it would better serve our sitch ( I apologize if that offends any of you, just thought I was doing the right thing).
There has been some developments in our sitch and an embarrassment moment for my W that happened today that some of you may get a kick out of.
