I did find a receipt in her jacket for 'Party Passion'. Yep, a lube (we have some in the house already); a 'sexual enhancer cream' (can also be for self) and something else I couldn't find on the website. Not feeling really good here, either. 'Cause either way, self or OM, I'm not involved. Double bad.
Callasdad,
If you think this is all for "self," you're deluding YOURself.
Time to get what remains of your head out of the sand, and get to the hard work that you need to do. You don't need any more proof!!!
Quote:
If this woman lived here all the time without all the SMS and phone calls in private, and actually wanted to be here with us/me, I could easily do all the physical affections she needs and be happy myself. Then it would "feed on itself" to create the love feeling she is missing. But she doesn't understand that love is,first and foremost, A DECISION. The feeling derives from the actions based on the decison. We'd be 50% fixed in 10 minutes. She just needs to understand WAW Syndrome and see herself in it. It's not the marriage that is broken, it was our abilities to deal with the everyday problems. As someone else so wisely said (and it's difficult to feel it) she's not rejecting ME, she rejecting the unhappiness our marriage became. I understand it now and am aware of the skills and mindset required to create the solutions. But she is still in "grass is grenner" mode.
Yep -- and she will CONTINUE to be in this mode while she's cheating on you, because her brain is all awash in "love chemicals" right now (PEAs), and they are EXTREMELY addictive.
You can't teach an adulteress. You can't "logic" her into reconciliation with you. Your gameplan should be to FIRST separate the addict from the source of her addiction (bust the affair), and then go from there. The sooner you can get yourself into an emotional and intellectual place of either "The Stockdale Paradox" or the Band of Brothers "You're Already Dead" mode, the better (Google those, and watch the latter on YouTube).
