I don't want to interfere with Allen's advice but I will say this... to this day it drives my H nuts that he has no clue who told me he was having an affair. FTR I was contacted by several of his (our) close friends, two of his co-workers, one member of his family and his superior at work.
I have e-mails, phone logs and legal affidavits. We are legally separated now but the day our divorce becomes final I plan to hand him a large envelope and he can see for himself but it won't happen until I decide it will.
Then maybe he will stop telling me that he is a "great guy" and EVERYBODY thinks so. Clearly I have a stack of documentation that says otherwise!
I wouldn't tell your W who told you what. She wants to have an affair then let her experience ALL aspects of an affair (paranoia in this case). Once she has messed up just about every R in her life trying to find out (and your divorce is final if you go that route) then let her know if you so choose.
