I would act how you act when you work. If you were working off site in an office that was not in your home you wouldn't be able to chit chat with visitors, right?
Acting "as if" and being polite but distant is not deceitful or manipulative. It is simply a way to avoid being sucked into anything with a WAH who is behaving VERY badly!
If he wants to chit chat he should arrange to come when you are not working.
OK. To be fair I work from home 4 days a week and did so when WH lived at home. It's the same as the office in that I take breaks occassionally to run a load of laundry (just like you might take a break to chat with a coworker). When WH lived at home we would often have conversations during my work day.
But, I get what you are saying. I will be polite and smile and won't engage unless I'm engaged to first.
I do think it would be a little far fetched to tell him he would need to arrange to come back if he needed to talk quickly. I have never done that before and don't do that when I work from home so I think that would come across as rude to him given that's not normally how I act. Obviously, if he wants to have a long drawn out convo that's a whole different matter that would need to wait.
Well, how you and your H used to function (you chatting with him while you were working at home and he still lived in the home) doesn't really matter now, does it?
Your H changed the status quo by moving out and ending the marriage. IMO that eliminates the perks he once had and one perk is chatting with you or having a "quick talk" while you are working. You are now a single woman on your own and your priorities are different. It's not rude, it's reality.
A quick hello is fine IMO. Your H is good at telling you what he needs/wants (my ring, a divorce, is my name going on the gift and blah blah blah) and somehow not seeing anything different from you.
Be fabulous, be busy and keep your focus on what the priority is during your workday (WORK!).
I have to agree with CityGirl. He's not visiting a friend to chat. He's getting some stuff, and should leave when he has found what he wants. If he wants to talk longer, then I would play it by ear, but perhaps you should keep it short, listen and give one word answers, i.e. 'yes', 'no', 'maybe', 'really', etc.
Good luck.
Me:57 H:52 M:28 Got another lawyer last year and filed. D35,S/D twins28,D22 EA4/04 End? Who knows? "Life is like a mirror. Smile at it and it smiles back at you." — Peace Pilgrim
A quick hello is fine IMO. Your H is good at telling you what he needs/wants (my ring, a divorce, is my name going on the gift and blah blah blah) and somehow not seeing anything different from you.
Can you clarify what you mean here? What do you mean not seeing anything different from me? I haven't been calling/texting/emailing; I did my own thing at the wedding; etc. How else different can I act?
I thought you said in your post that you were afraid it would appear rude if you didn't chat with your H like you used to. That is how things used to be. Now things are different.
Anyway, WH did not show up at house today. I'm not sure why this bothered me so much even though I know I shouldn't care. He never called to say he wasn't coming by anymore. I'm assuming he did not come because he knew I was going to be here. I guess that kind of hurts my feelings because he is clearly trying to avoid me.
Well... it just gets better. So, I went onto ashley madison (website where married people have affairs) and found WH profile. There was no picture but he was stupidly using same name used in his secret email and also had city, his age, etc.
It just keeps getting better, right?! I'm not even surprised anymore. It's just like I expect this.
Just putting everything away in my little folder for when court comes.
It's almost like I'm unable to put these two people together - there is the person I have known for 15 years and married and then there is this other [censored], disrespectful piece of garbage that I don't know and it's like my mind won't let me just accept that this is happening.
Still no moves on WH. He still hasn't moved his cell phone (even though I gave authorization to company) so I can still see all his activity on there. Haven't heard from a lawyer.
At least all these discoveries make me feel better strangely about myself. He blamed so many things on me and now I realize that he certainly wasn't doing anything better than me!
Haha! I've actually thought about doing that as a way to confront him but I'm not sure what purpose I would serve. I have no idea when he joined AM or if he is still active on it. I just don't know at this point if I should confront him about the mist recent things I know because I'm not ready to reall file or do anything. So I would just be acknowledging it and then not really standing up fr myself by filing for divorce.
