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CPCajun Offline OP
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I made a new thread ,as I don't see anything regarding it in a search.



We for the first time in 2-3 weeks of being separated my wife and I made love. Well not really. It started off as some texts between each other and lead to what I thought was a step forward. I really didn't want it per say, but she wanted it and I didn't want to but I wanted to because she wanted to. I don't know if she felt the same way, but it was the best sex I had in a long time.

It was until after-wards when she hurt me. She said that it was just sex, great sex, nothing more. If I(W) lead differently I(W) am sorry. You were reading this too deeply and this did not change the way I feel. I tried to hold her and managed to kiss her a few times before she backed away.

I didn't say a word or show sadness over it. I just agreed it was nice and told her goodnight.

I am so confused right now. Did this actually mean something and she was testing me or was this hormones and just meaningless sex?


Me 31 Wife 34
(Step)D 15 /(Step)S 13 / D 6
Married 3/3/01
Separated 6/4/10
Bomb 6/14/10
Served 6/22/10
EA/PA Discovered 7/5/10
Now Back Together 8/1/10
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any db coach will tell you if you have sexual relations with your wah/w expect them to back pedal and withtdrawl.


Me 39 H 30
d 18 previous marriage
d 2.5 with H
s 4.5months with H
Seperation Nov09
july i'm dim to dark - set internal deadline
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Sex is a tie that binds. I believe the sexual connection was the biggest factor in holding my marriage together. Try to enjoy it at the same level she does. Unless you are uncomfortable with it, there is no reason to stop.

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did she orgasm?

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Originally Posted By: Steve McQueen
did she orgasm?


WTF??? confused

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CPCajun Offline OP
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Originally Posted By: Jstar
any db coach will tell you if you have sexual relations with your wah/w expect them to back pedal and withtdrawl.
Originally Posted By: Lotus
Sex is a tie that binds. I believe the sexual connection was the biggest factor in holding my marriage together. Try to enjoy it at the same level she does. Unless you are uncomfortable with it, there is no reason to stop.
Two different answers. Ah this is so confusing.

The reason I did it was(since I started listening) is that we only had sex when I wanted to. If you think of it, it doesn't work with out me. Besides the point..... This was a time she wanted it but I still don't, as the separation has changed me and my goals are on other things, besides sex. Granted it is one of them, but something further down on my list of 180's. It's not like I didn't want it, I just thought it meant more. I did enjoy it, I always have with her. I do feel a bit uncomfortable, as I don't understand why just the sex, if she says it doesn't change her feelings for me.

Originally Posted By: Steve McQueen
did she orgasm?
Yes, it seemed like best she had in a long while.


Me 31 Wife 34
(Step)D 15 /(Step)S 13 / D 6
Married 3/3/01
Separated 6/4/10
Bomb 6/14/10
Served 6/22/10
EA/PA Discovered 7/5/10
Now Back Together 8/1/10
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serious question. certainly, most of us have heard. im just doing it to get off, or do it quick i need to get back to ...

dont equate sex with love.

so "Did this actually mean something and she was testing me or was this hormones and just meaningless sex?"

depends really don't it? who took care of who.

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CPCajun Offline OP
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Sex is ,or was ,an expression of our love to each other. In this case we took care or each other. We were both satisfied. Isn't sex an act that can bind the connection between us?


Me 31 Wife 34
(Step)D 15 /(Step)S 13 / D 6
Married 3/3/01
Separated 6/4/10
Bomb 6/14/10
Served 6/22/10
EA/PA Discovered 7/5/10
Now Back Together 8/1/10
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what is to be confused about? just go with the flow.

no need to complicate things with something as simple as this.

enjoy. maybe I shouldnt have upset PDT. but my question was about as good as yours.

let me ask this. dont bother answering me.

when things were "swell" did you analyze sex afterwards? or were you just "happy" that she was "happy"?

Last edited by Steve McQueen; 06/17/10 01:30 PM.
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I do go with the flow. PDT? I still get lost on a few, especially when I can find them. I am not trying to complicate things, just dont want to driver her further away.


No, I didn't analiyze it as long as she was happy. I aim to please. LOL

Last edited by CPCajun; 06/17/10 01:37 PM.

Me 31 Wife 34
(Step)D 15 /(Step)S 13 / D 6
Married 3/3/01
Separated 6/4/10
Bomb 6/14/10
Served 6/22/10
EA/PA Discovered 7/5/10
Now Back Together 8/1/10
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