H moved in w/ OW. Wants month to fig things out.

[seanna]

My Mother in law has confronted her, I have numerous times and she won't back off. What can I do?

[seanna]

Believe me, my family has not been silent in this. Everyone has been involved at one point or another. I just told them to back off of her because I read somewhere that if I attack her, then he feels that he needs to protect her and that's not good for me either. That made sence to me. Was it the wrong thing to Do?

[Allen A]

Yup.. you let them make her life miserable until she realizes he's not worth it... why back off and let them have fun at the expense of your children?

The affair survives on excitement and secrets... you RUIN their FUN and it isn't worth it anymore

Consider two high school kids trying to have sex... if the parents keep poping up everywhere they go the relationship won't survive...

The relationship GREW and THRIVED in privacy... that's a big part of what it FEEDS ON...

YOu take that AWAY and it falls apart... slowly

[Allen A]

You let him protect her... and when he has her fully convinced he's her kngiht in shining armor you have someone show her all the secret texts he's been sending you... BOOM!

[seanna]

Really? I have been saving all the texts that he's sent since he left. The really good ones, like he's made a mistake, I'll see him miserable with her in no time, give him a month and she'll be out of his life forever etc. So I should send these when? After she's convinced that she "won" right? You don't think that'll back fire on me? What if she forgives him? I did forward her text from him last Oct. and she was upset but still still continued the relationship. I guess he explained them away somehow

This is starting to look hopeless for me isn't it. My only choice is to continue with the protection phase more for my self to detach i guess

[Allen A]

HOld onto them for now... YOu want her to trust him first... and you can't send them, someone ELSE should do it...

Let her get a sense of security first before you turn it upside down...

Seanna, do you have a family therapist yet to send your Husabnd to? Because youc an't just invite him back in when she tosses him out... He has WORK to do ... he has to EARN his way back... If you just let him back in he's going to cheat again... and again... and again...

[seanna]

I know, I thought of that. I already thought that I would make him move to his moms first, and then fight for me. I already know that if he comes back home it's only a matter of time.

[Allen A]

YOu may also want to update your signature with mroe details of that backstory... including exposure dates, etc

[Allen A]

And when she tosses him out, YOU have to refuse him entry into teh home... Just because she tosses him out doens't make you plan B... He's OUT until he grows up and starts seeing a family therapist.. he's just turning YOU into OW right now... he's not TELLING her he's contacting you...

HE's an addict... He wants to LIVE with one woman and secretly contact a second... dont' you see the pattern here?

[seanna]

i'm starting to feel this is hopeless. maybe I should just do the protection for myself to detach as I said before and be done with it. I'm almost tired of fighting for our marriage ya know?