What I mean is protection phase forces him to choose B OR C
A is the addiction... the fantasy, the cake eating he's been doing for four years...
When you cut him off from YOU... he can't have A.. He's forced to do B or C.. He's forced to pursue OW ONLY, or to end it and return to the marriage...
As long as you offer him A in any way he's not going to choose C OR B
That's the fear is that LBS fear WS will choose B, so they NEVER do protection phase and end up strung along for YEARS giving him A
Protection phase is VERY HARD to DO... from your weakness AND his its hard to keep it going for long...
You need a plan to ensure he can't contact you, can't see you, can't HEAR you, etc... NOTHING.. you are a VAPOR as you put it.. how are you gonna be a vapor at work and keep him away?
Ooooh, Yes! I get I would be the one to lead him to B if I don't cut him off completely. I will not offer A in any shape or form. You are such a big help!!
M-43 H-44 M-16 T-19 S-10 S-8 left for OW 6/11/10 came back on 7/5/10 to present trouble in paradise again.... You know I'm a dreamer.........
I will definately have another person be a mouth piece for me when needed. P.S. I'm a barber so the shop is pretty open to anyone who wants to walk in.
M-43 H-44 M-16 T-19 S-10 S-8 left for OW 6/11/10 came back on 7/5/10 to present trouble in paradise again.... You know I'm a dreamer.........
I don't know about that one. There's no back door, There's no way to escape that that one. Hopefully he won't go there, because when I'm there, he'll have the kids and he wouldn't cause a scene in front of them.
M-43 H-44 M-16 T-19 S-10 S-8 left for OW 6/11/10 came back on 7/5/10 to present trouble in paradise again.... You know I'm a dreamer.........
Ooooh, Yes! I get I would be the one to lead him to B if I don't cut him off completely. I will not offer A in any shape or form. You are such a big help!!
Keep reading the protection phase book, its got a lot of good ideas in it...
As long as you let him eat your cake, he's not going to CHOOSE his marriage or to end his marriage, he's NOT going to choose when he can have both...
Remember you aren't asking him to choose you or OW, its choosing to be PART of his family or to DESTROY his family... thats teh choice.. and an ugly one for him right now given the affair...
I will definately have another person be a mouth piece for me when needed. P.S. I'm a barber so the shop is pretty open to anyone who wants to walk in.
OK, well, is there some way you can have a warning so you can lock yourself in the bathroom or something?
What about the manager or something? Is there someone that can tell him to get OUT for you?
I don't know about that one. There's no back door, There's no way to escape that that one. Hopefully he won't go there, because when I'm there, he'll have the kids and he wouldn't cause a scene in front of them.
You can't hope Seanna, you need a PLAN... He can always hire a baby sitter and go there.. he wont' always have the kids...
How is the shop setup.. you are the only one working?
Ya, I know he's already feeling the effects of the affair not only hurting me but it destroyed the kids too. My youngest keeps crying to him to come home.
M-43 H-44 M-16 T-19 S-10 S-8 left for OW 6/11/10 came back on 7/5/10 to present trouble in paradise again.... You know I'm a dreamer.........
