If I didn't have so much restraint, then I'd send this to H so that he could see it, too!
Why not? Gives a reason to contact. Unless the distance has helped the R so far, maybe it is time to consider another or different 180. Add on your own line like you did for us about a notch of respect for someone you'd previously dismiss as a flake.
If I thought he wouldn't react defensively, then I would. Unfortunately, I don't think he's ready to see something like this. No matter how I framed it, I think he would launch a rebuttal or just act defensive and angry.
I've gone dark on H for the past couple weeks, only responding to direct questions he asks me through texts. I decided to go dark for a bit after a conversation with black best friend.
She and her long-term boyfriend (we're talking 7 or 8 years) have parted ways at her choosing. After all my reading, her comments (about their relationship before it ended) reminded me of a WAS. Since their parting, he has actively and persistently pursued her, and it's been driving her crazy.
During dinner a few nights ago, she was talking about how she hadn't heard from him in several days, and she'd been thinking about old times, remembering him more fondly than she had in some time, and almost missing him. Then he called. Her words were, "I was just about to miss him, and then he blew it." Poor guy. He went dark but didn't stay dark.
She went on to say, "If he doesn't stop calling or trying to see me, then I may just have to tell him that I don't even want to be friends with him."
Though I haven't been in hot pursuit of H or attempting any excessive contact, this really spoke to me. It encouraged me to cut off all contact, at least for a while.
It's also been relatively good for my mental and emotional health to forgo contact with H. It's better to have no contact than to try to make contact with him and be ignored.
