Long story short. My H is continuing a 4 yr. affair with an ex girlfriend. I found out 1yr. ago on our 14 yr anniversary. Since then H has been in and out of the house every 2 months (he leaves for a week then comes home after I beg)
Ok, well this last time he left, one week ago. I've been doing some of the DB tech. which seem to work when I stick to them. I also packed all of his things and left them on the porch (something I have never done)took all pictures down etc.
The first few days away were up and down. Id ignore him, he'd chase me, I'd talk to him, he'd run. So now he text me and says he loves me and the boys, he knows he wants to come home but he has to get this out of his system (one month) I never resonded. I'm going dark on him. Then the kids just talked to him and he wanted to talk to me. I said no, then he text me wanting to come over tomorrow because he misses me. I really want to bust this please advise
Last edited by seanna; 06/16/1009:26 PM.
M-43 H-44 M-16 T-19 S-10 S-8 left for OW 6/11/10 came back on 7/5/10 to present trouble in paradise again.... You know I'm a dreamer.........
Honestly, after a four year affair I would just tell him to be on his way. He has been in this affair for FOUR years and now after 48 months of keeping a mistress someone ONE more month is going to be the magic number to "get this out of his system".
This is not a fling. This is an ongoing R he is very vested in and one month will do what?
He's addicted and this is the classic addiction script you get... after that month its going to be one more week.. then an I'm not sure, then a "I will let you know.."
It does NOT END.. this is NOT the way to END an affair... sitting around letting an addict string you along claiming they will quit, they just need one more month...
Sure, and alcoholics only take one.. More ... Drink... RIGHT?
You need to have plans for these situations because it WILL happen most likely... you send a letter saying you don't want contact, HE is going to violate that to TEST you...
My usual advice is to change the locks and to have a friend stay with you for the first few weeks at least in order to run interference...
