still separated, headed for D?

[Babydoll]

Newmama, i really dont know what to say. I just want you to know that I think you are STRONG, and AMAZING, and CONFIDENT, and SMART, and DESERVE NOTHING BUT THE BEST!

you have been such a huge support for me, and your words of wisdom have been so helpful, as I am sure many others would agree.

Please post your updates and let us know how you and your S are doing. I wish you peace and happiness... and LOVE!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Your friend, Babydoll

[newmama]

Thanks, Babydoll! I'm still in shock I think. And I also feel like suddenly I have extra time on my hands. Weird? I guess DBing was a project for me or something.

Well I found some other internet dating sites so I did some "window shopping." plentyoffish.com is free and a good one.

Just looking. I planned more summer events. Am going to tackle the house this weekend in between going out.

This would be easier if they weren't going to live so close, DAMN IT!!!!!angry face! angry face!

[TimeHeals]

Why do so many peope on here think rebound dating is a good idea.

Seems like a good way to wind up back on here with a new R.

[Seeing Red]

I might agree, TimeHeels, if her WH hadn't moved out over a year ago. She had to deal with third trimester, labor & delivery, new baby, etc., by herself. She's already been alone for a while.

Put yourself back out there SLOWLY, NewMama, nothing serious right away. Keep safe!

[newmama]

I know how to date! It's keeping a man where I need the help!

So I took S to my school to visit and show him off. I haven't been there since August. As I approached the school, my heart was pounding and I was breathing fast. I just don't know how to tell everyone. So I didn't tell anyone yet.

I'm meeting with my principal on Tuesday just to let her know and see if there is a chance I could transfer to start fresh somewhere.Or how to spread the news. I know 95% of the staff there, so that means 40 people to tell.

[newmama]

BTW EVERYONE said "wow, you look amazing!" and several of my old students didn't recognize me, lol! Because when they knew me I was very pregnant and round and wore my glasses and had my hair pulled back! It did feel good that they said I looked so good-- I will tell them it's called the Divorce Diet later!

[Babydoll]

Hey Newmama...
happy to see that you are making projects to keep yourself busy! I know you will be a smart cookie when it comes to the dating game... and if you need to go out and just meet people to keep you chin up then I say go for it!

Good to hear you had a nice time running into your old coworkers... you dont have to tell anyone until you are ready. Its not because you are hiding the truth or embarrassed its because you dont want to make it the topic of conversation when you run into old pals... i do the same thing. People will understand. And you are ready you will know...

Funny how we often referred to our WAS as the "neighbor who got us pregnant" as your WH is literally becoming your neighbor... well, as long as he doesnt live right next door, WHO CARES! Try to shrug it off... and better for you when you are living your life and content and happy and your WH will be close enough to see it all! honestly dont let that get to you...

[gatsby11]

Hey, NM. Sorry to hear the news as well, but as you already know, the situation hasn't changed that much! It's just expensive paperwork AND your ability to drop the rope that has been added. And the second is a great thing.

You visited work! Fun! Are you going to a new school or not? (I read fast; you may have already said.) I think you'll experience a fresh rash of mourning with telling some people. Expect it, but it might bypass you.

This would be easier if they weren't going to live so close, DAMN IT!!!!!angry face! angry face!

Even though I don' think I have an OW in my sitch, back in Feb/Mar, I wasn't sure. I assumed it. And he lives right near me. So I worked REALLY hard to "claim my territory." I went out to lots of restaurants with friends that I thought he could go to with an OW. I put my own memories in instead of thinking about what WH would be doing with others. So, I don't know if you need to do this (it may already be done), but if not, CLAIM YOUR TOWN!

I have full confidence in you, and I echo what others say about staying in touch. Heck, write about hiking and ziplining, I don't care! I don't need to hear about exH.

Gotta go!

[flowmom]

(((newmama)))

Of course you're still in shock. I don't think there's any way to fully prepare for the "bomblets" even when we know they are coming and prepare for them as much as possible. Give yourself some time to grieve this latest milestone in the process. That doesn't mean put your life on hold, but make some space for yourself to feel. This is yet another sucky point on the giant suckitude of being abandoned by the one who you love and have pledged a commitment to.

I love the idea of reconciliation as much as anyone , but in your case I really think that you will do better than your WH. Yes it truly, truly sucks. But you are free to start fresh and build a real family life for you and your S...a family life that your WH never provided you with. A man who is weak-willed enough to allow a woman to bully him into divorcing his wife and the mother of his children doesn't deserve a woman like you.

I'm on and off the boards, but feel free to ping me in the alt if you want to get in touch with me.

[newmama]

Thanks again, ladies. There is something different about actually seeing the paperwork to make the divorce OFFICIAL than just "living" like a divorcee!

I am thinking I will just suck it up and send an email to my BUNCO group which will work to disseminate the news. I won't go into detail. I think I'll just do it over the summer and then I can just come back and change my name on the door and on my newsletters home to "Ms." and if people say "Mrs." no big deal.

Since I am "headed to divorce" I moved my thread to the Surving the Big D forum. I will still pop in to check on you all though!

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