Hey guys, (W) and I have been separated for about a month from our supposed in house separation. Lot of mixed messages anyway (W) is super depressed she with the help of our (MC) also my (IC) she is working to help me save our marriage. Although I was the one who left b/c at the time during one of our secession she was on the verge of breaking down and she said the best thing to help her was to leave. Our (MC) told us that who knows maybe what will happen maybe we will be stronger than before. Anyway there has been less drama than when we were in the house together. Last night was our (S) 5th grad graduation and we went together, talked laughed and yes. WE even went out to dinner still laughing and joking and with our son too it was like old times being like a family again (trying to stay positive). WE went back to the house and I was going to get my change of clothes and go but somehow was trying to fix the ac and they have so frozen yogurt with son. Later on I know I probably shouldn't offer to hug her, but I pulled her close to me and said come here and hug her and whispered in her ear thanks for yesterday and I was sorry for snooping. Then I said my feelings are real for her and not fake and wanted to make sure she knew. I also told her some of the stuff I read really hurt and she told me she was just angry. Then I kissed her forehead and hugged her again and she came closer to me and smelt my shirt. This is just crazy from where we were yesterday!! Next she asked me if I could bring our (S) to school so she could make some hrs. at work. (I said sure and she asked if she wanted her to make extra coffee for me) Anyway I was packing up the stuff I brought over and we still joked about some things, the only downer is to see how bear our room is now. How she is trying to get rid of things that remind her of us. (Oh well can’t let that get me down). (I don't know if I'm supposed to put my other thread in here or if I have to tell my whole story here again. I'm still new to this all) but I'm also in the newcomers thread. We are great friends, but call me stupid I can still feel the love and sometimes see it. I just can't figure her out. I don't know if anybody can even if she knows what she is doing? Trying not to over think and be patient it’s just hard b/c when I see this all the time I get very confused, one week or day good the next not so good. I do know she is more depressed than me and 'm trying to make change in me and do things I have not done for myself in a long time.( she has told me she has noticed , which I didn't think she did). I can forgive her for the pain she has caused me, but I think she has a hard time forgiving me for what I did. I also know (W) has told me she wants to become the person she wants to be rather than the person I'am/was she thinks she is a horrible person which I know is not true. How do I help her and try to save our marriage without pushing her away? She says she is trying to be more consistent meaning without me? I just get discourage sometimes not knowing what to do because when I see the dram and her crying I wasn’t to hug her, but I know I can't. last night was just mixed messages or was it true feelings (WTH) any suggestions? Would be appreciated, just like a rollercoaster each day..
