Could use some support over on this forum as well.

[Sugar and Spice]

(((Time))) I've read some of your sitch and my heart goes out to you. I agree with Sosadny and City Girl.

First go dark and GAL. The crap he is spewing about his R with the OW not having anything to do with your M and that he hates you is BS! He is telling this because he knows it makes you feel bad and it hurts and it makes him feel better about the mess hes made. He doesn't hate you, but its easier to force you to be the one to end things so he won't have to be responsible for the ending in his own eyes.

His nonsense is not doing you any good and unless or until you aren't there for him to emotionally abuse anymore he won't begin to get it together. I wish I would have listened to all of the people on these boards that gave me similar advice when I was going though my sitch. Suffice it to say that we have many things in common and looking back I wish that I would have let H deal with his mess by himself. I put myself and my kids through a lot of extra grief and pain because I tried to be his "friend" and I thought if I went dark that he would be gone for good.

If you want to see what NOT to do, go back and read my sitch and then just do the opposite of what I did.

My biggest advice is to protect yourself & your kids financially, get into IC and C for the kids and then go out and rediscover yourself and build your life the way you want it. If things work out, he can join you and you can build a life together. If they don't then you can be or do what it is that makes you happy and fulfilled. Either way, its a win for you.

This isn't about you and what or how you did or didnt do something to cause this. Your H chose this and the train-wreck that this sitch is was completely created by him and his poor choices. I'm sorry if I sound harsh, but I remember feeling like you do and if I am able to spare you a moments pain, I will.

I will come back to check on you and if you need any support, I'll be here for you.

((((hugs))))