It still feels like some horribly bad dream, that if I could just talk to H and get him to understand then he'll come back. I still feel deep in my gut, in my bones, that H will return someday.
Hi, Mystik.
You have to realize by now that you are not helping yourself at all. We have all been there. Some of us (me) still struggle with everything and wonder why they(WAS)won't just listen to us. If they did, they would see things from our perspective, have an epiphany and come to their senses.
Ain't gonna happen.
The good news is, you can choose to have control over your actions and reactions to your H. It is a process you have to go through. You have strength that you never knew you had, trust me. You just have to dig deep and find it. What is the alternative? To be committed? How is that going to work for your kids?
This whole thing is unfair and painful. LET GO! How can it be worse on you if he is gone than it is now with you holding on and him flaunting his gf in front of you with no remorse? It can't be.
Do it for yourself.
You will have setbacks. You are allowed to cry. Don't let him see you down or know how you are really feeling.
I am worried about you, Mystik. So are others. You have to do this. You really have no other choice.
I will join in praying for strength to get you through this.
