Your response is not really pursuing IMO but it doesn't sound quite right. Hearing and understanding are two very different things. Telling her how she "must" feel is not good either.
First part listening, second part understanding. I agree that the third part does not sound too good.
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Your W does not take care of her health.
Maybe this is a misinterpretation of what I have posted. W does her best to take care of her health. W goes to the doctors more times in a month than I have in the past 2 years. The issue is they (doctors) don't know exactly what is the cause for her constant headaches and sleep disorder.
I know my W's health issues could be a major contributor to our sitch but I don't really want to get into that discussion. I know she needs help and she knows it as well. It is up to my W to continue to get that help.
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I would simply tell your W when she complains about feeling unattractive: W, sorry to hear you feel that way. Anything I can do to?
I like that
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She will have to learn to manage (or change) her work schedule, her physical issues and she will have to learn to communicate better.
This is where we are at now. AS W has in the past she is "dealing" with the physical pain and starting to contribute more. Before I was lucky if she pulled herself out of the bed more than just go to the bathroom. Now she has become more active in maintaining the household (could have everything to do with the party on the 26th but it's a start).
W has pulled out my old "Officer of the Month" awards and the articles she clipped from the newspaper, framed them, and hung them on the wall.
COMMUNICATION is where we lack. Just not as healthy as I want it to be. I need some heavy hitting responses for when W starts using sounds to communicate with me.
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IMO it is time for you to start turning things around a bit. Validate her feelings and give her the opportunity to come to you. If she doesn't then she doesn't. If she does, well, then we might start to see some progress.
Need some examples.
M: 27, W: 25 Together since: 01/31/00 M: 10/4/09 (8 Months) ILBNILWY: 01/24/10 EA confirmed: 02/10/10 (Busted). Road to Reconcile began: 07/10/10 Retrouvaille: 09/10/10
