Excellent advice, OT. I will pass that on to him. We guys often fear the R talk because we feel we have to come up with a response right away. It is completely appropriate to say "I would like some time to think about what you've said so that I can come back with something constructive." I also understand his hesitancy in that no one wants to sit and be criticized as "the problem" continually, that is not constructive either. Anyway, it hurts me to see my friend go through this, often the issues and conversations he has with his wife are much the same as the ones I had with mine...and we know where that went! He does genuinely want to make things better but is just stuck and frustrated. Btw, he's not gonna use the cards, he told me he just wants to keep the points in his head...thank goodness! He mentioned something recent that she will bring up and I said "when she does you say 'you're right, it was wrong of me to say that and I apologize" So when you're wrong, you say you're wrong. Anyway, I hope it goes well, I'll hear either way!
