My husband & I have been together for 15 years, married 6 this past may. He was 17 I was 19 when we got together. I broke up with my boyfriend at that time to be with my now husband. There was just something about him, it was from the start I had this feeling about him! When we first kissed, it was incredible! A feeling unlike any feeling I had ever had before!! He has said that he felt it too! He had always said that he didn't want to get married, I never forced the issue.
Fast forward to 6 years later, he proposes?? We got married in May of 04', got a house March of 05' I got pregnant dec of 05, during this time things were good. Although he now says he feels as though I smothered him in those early years, I always wanted to be with him! He complained that sex wasnt frequent enough. We both had different sex drives, although when we had sex, that too was incredible! Just wasn't frequent enough!
Then his mother was diagnosed with cancer, he was diagnosed with rheumitoid arthritis at the age 28, March of 06 he was promoted to management, April of 06 is when the affair started I had a feeling, confronted him, he said it was my hormones making me crazy... our son was born in Sept, his mother passed away in Oct, shorly before she passed, he confessed about the affair. Now the "girl" was a 19 year old from work, who is no way as attractive as me, at least 50-75 lbs heavier than I was when I was pregnant!!!! I was depressed, by the time of my MIL funeral I had lost all of my baby weight + 10-15 lbs, bringing me down to 105lbs,(I'm 5'4"). It wasn't until Jan 07' when he finally ended the affair, and decided that he wanted to work things out. we reconciled, things went well. I transfer to another branch for my job, unhappy & miserable I come home miserable, due to my boss. Fast forward to this past Feb., he's afraid he's gonna lose his job, he's traveling 6 hrs round trip for his job, he's miserable, I'm miserable. We both get depressed. He tells me he regrets getting married, he never wanted to, but it was expected of him... He isn't happy, he doesn't know if he wants to stay with me. He said that I neglected him in the past, due to my low sex drive. When we reconciled, it was more frequent, but still not enough for him, I was always tired. I work full time and need to take care of the house, our son...
He said he needs his space, which I have been giving, I try to DB, think I'm doing good, then I slip up. The GAL is difficult, I have no friends. My husband and son have been my life!
He told me a couple of months ago that he wants to stay with me but have someone on the side "just for sex" he still has love for me but isn't "in love with me" he doesn't even know if he could even love me like he once did??
Just last night we were talking, I told him that I just have this feeling as though we were meant to be together. The connection, the attraction, the feeling is still there, we both feel it, but we have problems, I told him we are disfunctional. If we went for counseling, even if it was individual & not marriage we could fix us. Maybe be better than we ever were? He says right now he doesn't want to talk about "us", he needs time to clear his mind and think. What should I do?? Any advice is appreciated! TIA
