I spoke to our "neutral" MC today to tell her that I don't want to be in T with my W at this time because all I think we will do is argue our points and not listen to each other. The T said that was a "wise" decision because as we said to the T in the one session we had: I want to work on the M, and my W said she does not want to work on the M. So what would we accomplish?
I feel the stress growing in me because I am not sure that walking away from T is the best decision. It seems right only because it doesn't allow my W to push her agenda and be vocal about it. There is no forum for us to discuss our issues because we avoid them at home. I feel like all I have now is the DR book and my own will power, and it's a little daunting. My W seems a little confused by me walking away from T, and even a bit bothered by it because she said she doesn't want to work on the M and I reacted by killing T.
One of the first things my DB coach said to me was that I should get out of it -- good idea, bad timing. So I followed her directive. And I also don't think this T could help us anyway.
This morning I took my shower and came downstairs to see the kids playing in this giant, 12' X 12' fan-inflated bouncy house blow-up we have in our living room. I ran through the kitchen all dressed for work and dove in and grabbed my kids and began playing with them. The W saw and looked happy that the kids were having so much fun with me. After about 15 min. I got out and left for work.
