So last night was intersting. To refresh, due to my time limit I was only able to follow her as far as her 'Candace's' house. I'm not sure that's her house but she does live over there. I'll find out for sure today somehow. Anyway, stayed home with my daughter and heard nothing from her, presuming she would then go to her mons and Nicoles. About 9:30 as I'm trying to get my daughter to sleep (K has been sleeping with outr daughter in a sep bedroom for about a year-yes, I know. Unhealthy for M and daughter) she texts. She asks if C (daughter) is tired yet. I said I'm trying to get her to sleep as I have an early morning. She says (and I don't read these til this morning)- Are you putting her in my bed? Please say yes? (5 min go by w no response from me) OK. Having another drink. Not driving. Staying at Candaces.
Now my questions are whether she in fact went to any one elses like mom or Nocole or just styaed at Candaces? Or did she go somewhere else?
Wish I could afford a PI to track her to discover how many lies there really are?
And why was it som important I put our D in her bed when she isn't even home yet/
Weird. And getting weirder by the day.
Waiting for experts advice on next move suggestions.
And why was it som important I put our D in her bed when she isn't even home yet/
It may have had MORE to do with 'is Callasdad actually HOME or could he be out checking up on me?' ... but she can't just ask that. So she asked about the bedtime routine. Just a ruse, would be my guess.
So what are your plans for today? Calling Mom to see if W ever got there? What about a gps dealie-bopper (not too technical, me) or a voice activated recorder on her car whereby you can tell where she's going and/or hear what she's saying in her car? These have been recommended on here in past for folks who need a way to confirm trouble. And I hate to say it, but I think you've got trouble.
My suggestion for today is that you do not contact her. Be very scarce and do not respond to texts, calls, email. Be very busy today!
Greek
Me45 H46 T25 M22 S21 & 19 D13 Separated and filed 8/08 Moved home 11/08
Callasdad, You need hard proof of what is going on. All the signs are there that your wife is having an affair (sucks to be you.) You have to deal with the emotions, gather intel and then prepare your self to set boundaries on her behavior.
Your wife doesn't respect you right now. She feels entilted to do whatever she wants and she wants to keep you off balance/second guessing everthing. Don't respond to anything if you are not sure of what to say. Take care of yourself and your kids.
Use the board here to ask questions, unload and get a gameplan. You can handle it.
Cheers
M22,H45,W45 S21/18D12 Retain faith that you will prevail in the end, regardless of the difficulties and at the same time confront the most brutal facts of your current reality, whatever they might be.
Thanks, Coach. I justed put this on the other thread in response to someone else. I'd like to keep all the posts HERE for continuity. I have OM address, cell number, work location. I have his business card! What type if intel do I need? He isn't married. I'm considering have an "associate" tail my wife Friday after work to see where she goes. She's been saying "beer night with work" for 6 weeks. I'm wondering how many people from work or just him? And he lives in that town, too.
She texted this morning whether D slept ok. 'Yes' You had to go in early? Big meeting or busy 'Both' OK. Have a good day then 'Will do. You too' AN hour later- How about take out pizza from the new place? 'Sure. Sounds good'
I've seen the Chatty Kathy routine before. Usually after she does something odd. Guilt is a b*tch, eh?
I'm not sure what other things I can do to find out how deep this EA/PA goes other than actually following her to see if it leads to him. Looking after a two year old makes it hard since somebody has to be with her so I can't be Magnum PI myself. A shame cause I'm really good at it. It'd be easier to get a GPS tracking device on her vehicle so at least I can see where she is. Better would be in her phone but it's locked and glued to her hand. BBerry is uncrackable.
Thanks everyone. Just need a plan/mindset until we all agree on a boundary/confrontation script.
Where is she spending her time, money, affection, and energy?
If you try to bust the affair without evidence she will tell you it's all in your head, you are overreacting, and you just want to control her. But if you have evidence then you can be confident in delivering your message.
M22,H45,W45 S21/18D12 Retain faith that you will prevail in the end, regardless of the difficulties and at the same time confront the most brutal facts of your current reality, whatever they might be.
Thanks, Coach. Interstingly, Allen had other thoughts that seem to conflict with this back on the Infidelity thread. How do I get all the responses centered on one thread? I put a link but now boththreads are in progress simultaneously.
Coach is right...confronting without w/o evidence will yield exactly that result. I know. Not only will you get no where, you can make it worse as they will run to the OM.
Get your proof then do what you need to do.
M 33, W 30, SD 10, D 5, S 4
Made it through the WAW, living happily together now. And I am much wiser for it!
If you are positive this guy sent the flowers then yeah get your "boss" friend to be your backup. Then you also have a talk with your wife that same night.
M22,H45,W45 S21/18D12 Retain faith that you will prevail in the end, regardless of the difficulties and at the same time confront the most brutal facts of your current reality, whatever they might be.
Oh, I got it directly from the flower ship it was him and he hand wrote a note. That isn't evidence itself but her saying there was no card sure was. I'll tell my friend there I need to speak with him about 3:30 Friday.
Talking with my wife will require another script and a plan. I know it's going to be R talk so how do I keep it on MY AGENDA? ie boundaries/commitment/what an affair tells me. She could either be a kitten or a lion. Or a no-show. Remember, I have my daughter to parent that night.
