Wife abandoned me...Now What?

[Mike.4545]

Thanks so much for the responses everyone...I really appreciate them. I have been reading around on this forum for about 2-3 weeks already and have read the DB book. I'm just doing whatever I can to understand what's going on and how to deal with it.

My wife did go to the counselor by herself once...but it didn't seem like there was a large chance of her going back, although she didn't refuse to. She just said he didn't do much for her the first time or give her any advice. Well DUH...how's he going to listen to her whole story and fix much of anything in the first 50 minute session..LOL.

Well in her emails to the OM from about a month or so back...my wife was planning on divorcing me right away and moving to Chicago for him. Since then, she has not divorced me,and has moved out into her own apartment here in the same city as me, with a 6-month lease...Better than Chicago I guess! She is also paying for it herself...but I'm still stuck in the house with a lot more expenses and it's making it quite difficult on me, although she said she would pay half the mortgage for this month to help me until I could get a roommate to help out with the bills. We haven't fought or been mean to each other during all of this. I even helped her move out. She claims to be very sorry for the EA, says it was a mistake, and promised me that she would not pursue any relationship or communication with the OM for at least the next 6 months. She hasn't gotten mad at me at all about snooping through her email to find this stuff out, and does not get defensive when I want to talk about her affair, or tell her that she needs to stop all communication with him. She genuinely seems remorseful and willing to stop the affair for now...but at the same time it's very difficult for me to trust her now. She did tell me the other day that the OM had called her to see how she was doing, and said she was sorry for taking the call. At least it seams she is willing to be somewhat transparent and honest even if she makes another mistake.

I'm going to try hard to limit communication with her even more, stop pleading with her, stop telling her how much pain I'm going through, that I love her, and all that. Should I ignore any calls or emails though? I wouldn't feel real well about not responding to simple phone calls or emails as most lately have been about things other than our relationship (work, sharing time with our puppy, etc.)

Anyhow, thank you again everyone for your support and advice. It's going to be a very very long 6-months of up and down for me. I seem to change emotions about the whole situation every hour...BLAH!