Confused and looking for advice

[hockeymom12]

So Monday night I come home and H is there (this was planned) everything seemed fine, he was in a good mood and I just went about getting ready to go to baseball. I then asked him if he was planning on going to a party that we had on Saturday for our d15's ringette team, he replied no, that was fine, I then said will you be keeping our s10? He hesitated and then said yes, about 10 minutes later he said that he actually had plans on Saturday and what time would I be home, this set me off, not because he had plans but because he whines and cries that he never sees his kids yet when he can he is busy. After about 10 mintes of arguing about this he tells me that I need to plan stuff better to which I reply, you knew about this party and if you were not going you knew our son was not going either and that one of us had to be with him. He said that this is why he wants set days to have the kids so that he can plan stuff on the days he does not have them. I told him I was tired of his mixed messages (meaning I want the kids but then does not take them when he can) He took this as mixed messages about us getting back together and said if I do not elaborate on answers to you I am a jerk but if I am nice then we are getting back together. I finally left because it was better than staying and getting stomped on and blamed for everything as well as reacting in the wrong way.

About an hour later after a long walk I ended up at the ball game and he was there, as I was getting my stuff from my vehicle he left his truck. I stopped him and said the following. I said I just wanted to apologize for getting angry earlier, that was not my intention, I am obviously having trouble with the seperate parenting thing, I assumed we would continue to divide and conquer when it came to our kids since we always did this when we were together and it worked and the kids schedules have not changed so there is a need for both of us to still be available for the kids. He accepted my apology and then I said when you insulted my planning skills that really hurt, since I am great at planning our schedule, he said he did not mean it the way it came out and that yes he was aware of the party but thought that even if he went he could still go out, he then started to explain where he was going, I stopped him and said that is none of my business and I do not need to know I just did not expect you to pick plans over your kids as this is not how it has worked in the past. He realized this and apologized again. I then went into what I meant about the mixed messages, I said I am fully aware that we are not getting back together but I want to have a good relationship as I am tired of fighting, I think this took him by surprise. He then went on to say that he was still going to go to the MC as he wanted to meet with him, I said that is great, I think he can really help you out with somethings you are working on and I understand that he is not going to the MC for us, to which he replied that he was going for us as well as other reasons.

So yesterday I had no contact with him at all and he did not contact the kids either.

Today he called me right in the morning to discuss the plan for tomorrow night (who takes which kid) I told him it was up to him as it did not matter where I went, he was in a very good mood. I then ended the conversation saying goodbye and I will talk to you tomorrow. Just leaving him with the impression that I do not expect to talk to him all the time anymore.