I think you handled things you got tossed, pretty well. Just a thought and not an implication, but-- do you ever worry your d will feel a little slighted if the boys get more time with you? I mean, I guess- make it clear to her that it's about the boy's games and not time with her or alienation on your end like you "just don't get girls" b/c your w is wacky, if you can. I get the feeling your d might start feeling the shaft soon by your w, choosing OM over them, and you, so do all you can to make that little d feel like the valuable she is to you.
As for poor OM's loss, well with all due respect to his mom, it's interesting that he's following his own father's footsteps. Good grief. Zero self awareness.
(Of course my fil has been married 4 times but the first 3 left him and not for adultery. He was just a controlling damaged jerk, angry Vietnam vet, drank too much, etc The good news is that he finally hit rock bottom and started to evolve. Then he met a great woman, a widow who had been married 40 years to a "normal" guy and didn't play games or manipulate. He married her, #4, and is happier now than he's ever been. She loves him like...an "iron fist in a velvet glove" so there's no temper tantrums, no crazy drinking binges or she's out of there, and I can say that it's possible to change late in lfe, as HE HAS CHANGED after the age of 60 so--- go figure.)
Why isn't his first wife, the one who knows his family, there for them now? Won't it be weird for his family to deal with their loss AND have to meet his new "OW"? What a loser. You are right, your stbxw will fall hard when the other shoe drops. This OM likes the drama of it all, and he's supremely hypocritical. I wonder if "THIS A" is different for him now that he is such a good follower of Christ...wow, truth is stranger than fiction.
Hang in there. j-
Thanks for the comments, 25. I have no worries about my daughter, she's actually fired up about going to grandma's, and my middle son is now going too, since he preferred grandma's to his game. My oldest had 2 games scheduled and he doesn't want to miss them, so he's staying with me.
The OM's W is flying in to attend the funeral, so the OM will have both his ladies there. Would like to be a fly on the wall.
W called today wondering why I was going out of my way with the kids arrangements and we got into a heated discussion. I'll post more later as I have to run.
WAW Using God Me-43 W-40 M-14 S-11 S-9 D-7 EABomb 5/09 Separated 12/09
